Wills is definitely a gift (Photo: Kensington Palace/Getty)
“Never go home empty-handed.”
This is the “key” parenting motto of none other than Prince William, who was presented with an American football for his children to take home after visiting the NFL Foundation in south London this week.
Everyone knows the feeling of receiving a souvenir when a loved one returns from vacation, or receiving your favorite chocolate bar when you go to the store, but as a child I was even happier.
But anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship would know that bringing home gifts like the Prince of Wales doesn’t come naturally to everyone.
That’s because everyone has a different way of showing love, and Will’s preferred method seems to be by giving presents.
If all of this sounds familiar, you may have already heard about love languages. Those are the five main ways people like to give and receive love.
“This concept, introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, identifies five primary love languages: physical touch, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, and acts of service,” says relationship psychologist Mairead Molloy told Metro.
“The basic idea is that understanding how someone wants to receive love can strengthen a relationship, since different people often have different preferences.”
Love languages are most often talked about in terms of relationships, but some argue that we all have our own friendship-love language or even work-love language.
So what happens to our parenting love language?
What each love language looks like in parenting
physical contact
According to Mairead, if your love language is skinship, you’re likely to spend a lot of time hugging, cuddling, and holding your child’s hand, and by doing so, It seems that children can feel safe and loved.
receiving a gift
If you prefer gifts, you may find yourself providing your child with thoughtful gestures and surprises, such as toys or pictures.
words of affirmation
Or if hearing the words “I love you” or a series of nice compliments warms and brightens your heart, chances are your child will feel the same way.
Telling your child words like “I’m proud of you” can have a real self-esteem boosting effect.
quality time
Quality time means spending uninterrupted time with your child.
“Spending focused, distraction-free time together, whether it’s playing, reading, or talking, helps children feel valued,” says Mairead. I say.
act of service
Finally, you may like having things done for you. That means you’re likely to perform additional acts of service on top of what’s needed for your child.
Mairead explains, “Helping children with their homework, preparing their favorite meals, or doing something to make their lives easier shows that you care and care.”
Is it important to understand your child’s love language?
The idea behind love languages is that we often give love the same way we would like to receive, regardless of how different it is from the people we love. Therefore, in theory, it is important to understand the love language of the other person in order for him or her to feel fully loved.
And that apparently applies to children as well.
“Psychologically, parents adapting to their child’s love language promotes the child’s emotional development,” Mairead says.
“Love is important in all its forms, but expressing love in a way that children truly receive helps strengthen the bond between parent and child. It makes them feel emotionally safe, creating a sense of security and happiness.” It contributes to the feeling.”
To understand your child’s love language, we recommend observing how they show affection and respond to different expressions of love. For example, consider whether they seek hugs, praise, or get excited about presents.
“You can also ask how they feel most loved, but younger children may not always be able to articulate that,” Mairead added.
What if your child’s love language is different from yours?
The important thing to remember is that love languages are more of a guide than a law. Love languages are a good tool for introspecting relationships, but you don’t have to live by them.
The idea of love languages is based largely on anecdotal evidence, showing that A) people fit neatly into each category, and B) partners with different primary love languages are less satisfied than those with the same language. There is little research to support this. Needless to say, if your love language is authentic, it’s more likely to be learned rather than innate.
If they are similar to our attachment styles (suggesting that our upbringing influences how we relate to, trust, and love others as we get older) (another psychological theory), they are most likely to develop during our formative years as a result of being our primary caregivers.
Some experts say your love language is likely the result of something you weren’t exposed to as a child, so prioritizing one over the other can have the opposite of the desired effect. It even suggests that there is.
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Still, despite the fact that there isn’t much science to prove where love languages come from, working to ensure your child is loved is half the battle. And it will definitely pay off in their growth.
“Ultimately, being in a loving home can outweigh many outside influences,” says Mairead.
“No matter what children face outside, parents and caregivers can provide a safe, loving environment that serves as a strong emotional foundation.
“Even if they express love differently, they will feel supported and over time they will reflect that warmth and care into the world.”
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Email us at MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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