Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Raising children is hard. As with everything, there are many different parenting methods and styles, ranging from overly strict to overly permissive. It seems that modern child-rearing is carried out freely, with no set rules.
Most parents would rather be their child’s friend than an authority figure. As a former childcare worker, I have seen this many times. Children these days often do things that would be very troublesome to us when we were young. I wonder what God would say about modern parenting. Although there is no specific book or chapter in the Bible about raising children, there are some guidelines to follow.
discipline
Lack of discipline is rampant in our society. Because parents do not enforce discipline at home, children believe they can do whatever they want. There are no consequences for their actions.
Parents don’t seem to care how their children behave. As a child care worker, I have experienced children punching, kicking, punching, spitting on me, and knocking glasses off my face. I’ve seen kids get into scuffles with each other in groups. I once had a kid push another kid into a building and smash his head in.
What was the reaction of parents? Usually in a very sweet voice, one parent says, “Come on, Cole, I know we don’t act like that. Go tell James I’m sorry.” I just do what she says.”
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The Bible specifically states that parents need to discipline their children.
“He who spares the discipline hates his children; he who loves his children takes great care in disciplining them.” (Proverbs 13:24, New Bible Translation)
“Discipline your children while there is hope, or you will ruin their lives.” (Proverbs 19:18, New Bible)
“Do not fail to discipline your children; they will not die from the rod of punishment.” (Proverbs 23:13, New Bible)
love
What we teach our children is self-love. We live in a very “me”-centered society that does not match God’s definition of love. Parents and children are watching you, noting where your priorities are, what you like, and how much time you spend doing those things. They know exactly what you like.
Are we saying that we can’t enjoy our favorite things and activities? No, not at all. But our first love is God. You should set an example by spending time with God every day where your children meet you. First, please tell me about God’s love and loving others.
The Bible says:
“And you shall love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5, NIV).
respect
This is another area where modern parenting goes wrong. Parents are not able to teach respect to children today, and as a result, children lack respect. If you were in the classroom today and asked the children to do something, they would probably say “no.” or “I don’t want to” or “I’m not going to do that” and they don’t.
Instead, parents should be careful and respectful of their children’s language. You should not talk derogatory about children, other family members, or outsiders.
The Bible says:
“Each one of you shall honor his father and mother, and you shall always keep My Sabbaths; I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19) :3, New Translation of the Bible)
“Stand before the elderly and show respect to them. Fear your God; I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:32, New Testament)
intentionality
Parents need to be intentional with their children. This means teaching them our values and priorities and putting them into practice in everyday life. It should not be influenced by external things such as books, movies, music, or other media.
It is important to consciously maintain a spiritual atmosphere in the house. Pay attention to how you live your life according to your values, beliefs, and priorities.
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boundaries and limits
Children need boundaries and limits. Without these, they cannot grow. Boundaries and limits teach them right from wrong. In Biblical parenting, boundaries mean letting in the good and keeping out the bad. This means setting boundaries for what your child can consume, such as books, music, movies, and other media. It also means setting boundaries with family, friends, and other people of influence.
The Bible says:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by a great crowd testifying to the life of faith, let us remove every burden that slows us down, especially every sin that easily stumbles us, and let us pray that God endures the race. Let’s run!” was set up in front of us. ” (Hebrews 12:1, New Translation of the Bible)
“Stay away from fools, for in their mouths you will not find knowledge” (Proverbs 14:7, NIV)
thanks
We live in a very selfish society, constantly comparing ourselves to others and dreaming of wanting what others have. Because of social media, commercials, and society, we compare ourselves to others every day. We often dream of coveting a big house, a brand new car, or a prestigious career. This narrows down to children, who start comparing themselves and what they have (or don’t have) to others. This can cause stress and depression for the whole family.
Instead, we should focus on gratitude. Children should be taught to wake up every day with gratitude. I thank God for waking me up first thing in the morning. Having an attitude of gratitude helps fight selfishness, not only within your family, but also in your relationships with friends, colleagues, bosses, and other people you encounter on a daily basis. We also know what God does in our lives, from giving us a home to live in and putting food on the table to helping us present at a conference or pass a test. It also helps children understand all the good things you give them. Children should be taught to be grateful, regardless of their mood at the time.
The Bible says:
“I was not in need, for I learned to be content with what I have” (Philippians 4:11).
grace and forgiveness
Grace and forgiveness are foreign concepts in our culture, but we need to teach them to our children. Use the greatest example of all: Jesus, who died on the cross for us, to explain to your children what forgiveness really means. Then model your behavior with it. If a situation arises where you need to forgive someone and it’s appropriate to talk about it, tell your children what happened and how you handled it.
Grace is also a foreign concept. People would rather attack each other than show each other grace. Explain to your children that no one is perfect and that everyone needs grace from time to time. Here are some examples of situations where you can extend grace and drive points. Again, try modeling this in your own life.
The Bible says:
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you for your sins. I will not forgive you” (Matthew 6:14-15, New Translation of the Bible).
adaptability
It is difficult for children to adapt, especially in today’s society. Children thrive on routine, but disruptions at home and school can be very disruptive. We’ve seen this with children in divorced families, especially when the non-custodial parent has to change their schedule and skip weekend visitation. Or sometimes your primary care teacher may be sick that day and be away, or he may be away in the afternoon due to an appointment or something else. It’s difficult for them to adapt.
Still, this is an important lesson we must teach our children. Life is full of change and we must learn to adapt to it. Adaptability cannot be taught, but we can encourage children to be resilient by giving them the right amount of challenge.
Another way to do this is to teach them to take responsibility for their actions and to be problem solvers. Both of these situations promote resilience. We all have this to some degree, but some people need to learn resilience. Adaptability helps children find peace that is stronger than anything they face in life.
Peace helps you fight worries that cause you to lose faith in God. If families can adapt together, they can face challenges and grow in faith together. This peace also helps you feel content.
Although aspects of Biblical parenting are not always popular, there is no doubt that teaching your children these basic principles will make them happier, more balanced people.
What do you think? Are modern parenting styles consistent or inconsistent with the Bible? Join the discussion in the Crosswalk forums!
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