If you see a man traveling alone, you will think that he is strong and can survive on his own. For men, traveling is a symbol of strength, independence, and freedom. Conquering new places. Men don’t have to prove themselves. Travel is considered a natural ability. It reinforces masculinity and reflects the traditional role of men in roaming and hunting.
For women, on the other hand, when traveling alone, the question often arises, “Why do I travel alone?” Don’t you have a boyfriend or husband? Are the children at home? Do you know anyone where you are traveling? Answering these questions could deter solo travel and suggests everyone is concerned. It is often assumed that she travels not because of exploration but because of a lack of family responsibility. If you can answer all of these questions, there’s no need to go. Just be there. Explaining your travel intentions seems to be on everyone’s mind. After all, people will think, “She traveled because she didn’t have children or a husband to take care of,” instead of “She traveled because she wanted to explore the world and see more.”
In countries that are too conservative, the idea that you can’t travel alone still prevails. I’m talking about the Southeast Asian context. Even if the world says the future of travel is women. Despite global views that support women traveling alone, many believe that women should travel with a companion, such as a partner or friend, for safety. This perception remains strong and discourages solo travel, seeing it as dangerous for those who see it as a journey of self-discovery or spiritual exploration. I think that kind of thinking is still common in my country, the Philippines.
When I travel abroad alone, I am often asked, “Where are you from?” Why are you alone? ‘To satisfy them, I sometimes hint that I’m with others, especially if I feel unsafe. A woman’s instincts are sharpened by traveling alone. A heightened awareness guides her observations. This innate radar detects potential threats and differentiates her experience.
I remember being in a hostel in Portugal and staying in a big room with other people. When traveling to European countries, it is common to share a room with someone of the opposite sex. A strange man with big eyeballs asked me, “Where are you from?” He said he was from Germany. He replied to me, “But you don’t look German.” In my heart, I knew I wasn’t German. He seemed surprised, but I just remained silent. He went on to ask, “Why did you come here?” Do you have a boyfriend here? What are you going to do tonight? He had a lot of questions, but they were awkward questions to ask from a stranger. He received every silent response from me. I felt unsafe so instead of sleeping that night I moved to another location. Leaving quickly, like a bird running away, brings a sense of freedom. This independence builds strength and independence.
It is common to get lost in a foreign land. Google Maps is not always reliable in difficult terrain. When you ask people for directions or use your cell phone to guide you, you will feel that there are not all bad people in this world. You will realize that the world is still made up of people willing to help, even if they receive nothing in return. When your cell phone is off, you use it to help people. If you are a polite and kind person, I think it will be easy for them to help you too. Don’t be commanding or bossy. Just a lovely girl who got lost in a big, wide world.
In my experience, I prefer to trust the empathy of women, especially intelligent, kind, older women, and ask for help along the way. Because I know they won’t let me down. Perhaps this is my bias. I think I see these women as mothers and sisters. Maybe they think of me as a lost sister or a lost daughter and would be happy to help me.
On the other hand, I’m also strategic about who I ask for help. Ask anyone if you think the person is friendly. Also ask if they seem harmless, even if they are male. Again, I mostly travel using the power of intuition. I once got lost trying to find a place to stay in Amsterdam because my accommodation was literally on the outskirts of the city. The good thing was that most Dutch people spoke English. One man I spoke to helped me find my place and said it was the first time he had ever let a stranger into his car. Usually he didn’t do that. I believe that because he helped me, I also contributed something to his life. A new experience. This is your chance to help. He felt needed, knowing he had saved someone from being lost.
I don’t know if I’m the only one who always gets confused. I have gotten lost many times in America. Because all the places and houses are very similar and there is not much variation. Maybe I’m just not good at giving directions, I admit that. That’s pitiful. My only lesson is that it’s okay to get lost. Being lost, being in the middle of nowhere, not knowing anything, feeling empty is part of life. In return, it has made me a more humble person. That I don’t know anything about this place. This also signals that I am in a new area, a new place, a new culture. There is nothing I need to understand at that moment. There is no other way than to reach my instructions. This is already an achievement. On the flip side, this is also the reason why I don’t travel with a lot of stuff or possessions.
I’ve noticed that sometimes women and men travel differently. Most men don’t bring much with them, but some women travel with a lot of suitcases. Usually when I ask if it’s their first time traveling abroad, it’s no surprise that they brought a lot of things from the store. Deciding what to bring and what not to bring will also help you on your trip. I know what to take with me and what to let go of.
Sometimes I observe a lot of tourists and their suitcases. I wonder why some people bring so many big bags. For me the problem is not the weight of a lot of bags which are obviously heavy, but because we travel to get new things I don’t think we should travel with things we already own. Masu. How can you get new things if you already brought everything from home? Especially for women, when traveling, shopping is like a past time. Even if you don’t have money. You can shop with your eyes and smell our new store perfume testers. This allows you to participate in this process without spending any money.
I think the main reason we travel is because we’re bored with where we’re from and looking for something completely new. Everything in the house is predictable. Boredom reaches a point where it almost kills us. To break out of that routine is to travel somewhere you’ve never been before and have a new sense of self, a brand new version of yourself. Traveling alone is a humbling experience. It makes us think of ourselves as babies, like starting our baby steps again, learning how to walk, learning how to talk. In Europe, people speak almost 3-4 languages on a daily basis, so it’s like learning how to speak from scratch. We ask ourselves, “How much of what this person said do I know?” The experiences you gain from traveling teach you that there is so much to learn and so much knowledge to gain in this vast world.
When you travel, you may rediscover your own identity. Whenever I traveled alone to Sri Lanka, I encountered a man who always asked me, “Where are you from?” When I would say, “I’m from the Philippines,” I would often hear them reply, “Oh, the Philippines, it’s so nice, and the women…hmm.” They sometimes made gestures with their hands to smell very sweet flowers or perfumes. Then some people ask for my number. It was a very strange feeling.
One time, on the bus, a Sri Lankan man asked me if I liked drinking water. I said no. He said, “I have to drink water.” He bought me a bottle of water even though I didn’t ask him to. He told me to drink it and I was thirsty so I drank it. I later found out that the Sri Lankan man was just being polite. To my surprise, he also drank water after I drank, confirming that his intentions weren’t as bad as I first thought. Then they learned that most Filipino women in their country consider themselves prostitutes. I felt embarrassed knowing that many female travelers from my country who visited Sri Lanka probably had the same experience as me.
I once waited for about 30 minutes at immigration in Hong Kong. Sometimes in such places, most people think that all Filipinos are the same and get blindsided by the idea that everyone fits into a box. In Hong Kong, I learned that many overseas Filipino workers make people think that all Filipino women in Hong Kong are the same. Hong Kong’s Central Park was filled with Filipino women who felt right at home, partying, packing their bags, and preparing pasalubong, small gifts for family and friends back home. Preparing “pasalubong” is a great tradition, but seeing so many Filipino women in Hong Kong working so hard to bring them back home, it is difficult to find support for their families or families just to fill that box. It reminded me of how many people have to be separated from their children.
The fun of traveling alone as a woman is that it brings you unexpected encounters with strangers, especially men. You might even get a free coffee from someone who thinks you’re beautiful. Like the Taiwanese bus driver who took me to the wrong stop and bought me a coffee. In some cases, meals and museum admission may be free. Some people who don’t speak English may want to date you for English lessons.
Traveling is much easier now than it was in Kazakhstan in 1994 when there was no Google Maps. I traveled alone by train with a dictionary in hand, hoping to convey Russian words to people who approached me. The good thing about Kazakhstan is its generosity. They give gifts to strangers on the train. I’ll never forget the old man who said to me on the train, “You’re alone, you’re very brave.” I think the reason I choose to travel alone is because I am a woman.
When you are alone, you need to help yourself and talk to yourself. Take a selfie and ask a local to take your picture, like I did in Hong Kong and Switzerland. If you didn’t like it, a local person offered to retake it. This is a great gesture. Locals often greeted me with “have a nice day”. It made me feel at home, safe as a woman, temporarily belonging away from home, and made me feel less alone.
The more you travel solo, the more comfortable you become. You will overcome your fear of harm and prove that you don’t have to be wealthy to travel alone. While traveling with friends and family is fun, traveling alone can teach you lessons that strengthen you as a person, challenge your perspective, and benefit your heart, soul, and spirit, both as a woman and as a human being. Provide.
