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Dear care and food,
Recently, a new neighbor built a pool and invited my two children to play there as well. My brother just started dating “Pam.” He asked me if I could watch her 8-year-old son “Mike” during our afternoon date. Without thinking, I said, “Yes.”
My kids wanted to go to the pool, so I asked some of the neighbors if Mike and I could join. They say the more the merrier, so Mike rented swimming trunks. An hour later everything went to hell.
The neighbor marched my kids and Mike all the way to the house. Mike was sobbing and his eyes seemed to go black. He claimed that a neighbor child hit him “for no reason.” The neighbor countered that Mike refused to follow the pool rules, kicked an old pug into the pool for shit and laughs, and hit him first when he got into a fight with his son. He was preparing lunch indoors when the fight broke out. My children had no idea what happened. Mike’s eyes went cold. When Pam came to pick him up, she became furious and screamed at me that she was going to sue the neighbor. Apparently, Pam went to urgent care, sent the bill to her neighbors, and threatened to sue.
A neighbor sent security video of the incident. Mike was running around the pool on tape and doing dangerous jumps until a neighbor pulled him out and sat him in a chair. A pug came to the pool and Mike legitimately kicked the poor pup into the pool. The older girl swam to save her pet while her younger brother approached Mike.
Mike begins shoving and punching other boys and receives a blow to the face for his trouble. Pam has the video and is still going on this “my innocent baby” rant.
My neighbor ended all friendships with our family. My brother blamed the neighbor for not supervising the children, but I flatly told him that there was something seriously wrong with Mike for acting like this and lying. I told him that Pam and Mike were not welcome near my home or my children. He now blames everything on me. I love my brother and understand his struggles since losing his wife, but this behavior from Mike is just a huge red flag. what do i do?
—We have to talk about Mike
Dear, we need to talk,
Puberty is having a profound effect on my niece. She’s taking it to my more fortunate daughter. Help! My voluptuous neighbor dresses like a stripper when she jogs. I want to shame her on Facebook. My wife is lazier than my father, who is the most indifferent and does nothing. But it turns out it’s much worse than that. This content is available only to Slate Plus members. Our in-laws continued to spend a lot of money on their children’s weddings. You wouldn’t believe what they’re asking for now.
First, try to smooth things over with your neighbors. You live near them and your children enjoy playing with them. At the very least, you want to be able to say “hello” and “goodbye” when you meet someone. Send an edible arrangement and a heartfelt letter apologizing for Mike’s behavior and assuring him he will never come to your home again.
As for your brother, let him know that you wish him well in his new relationship, but that he can’t date Pam and Mike unless she apologizes and admits his fault. He has to understand that. Explain that you are still here for him and want him to be happy, but that you have legitimate concerns for Mike because of the debacle at the house next door. Hopefully, over time, he will stop getting mad at you, and if Mike’s behavior at your neighbor’s house reflects his usual behavior, he should He will come to realize that he was wrong to blame you. Don’t allow your sibling to make excuses for this child. However, try to show empathy for your brother who still wants to have a relationship after losing his wife.
–Jamila
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