The Surgeon General has issued a new public health warning. And this time the danger is not tobacco or alcohol, but parenting.
Two-fifths of parents say they are “too stressed to work” most days, the Public Health Directorate says in an advisory entitled “Parents under pressure”. are. About half of parents describe the stress as “completely overwhelming.”
These damning findings form the basis of a 35-page report released in late August that claims parental stress is an “urgent public health issue.” The study draws on data from the American Psychological Association and other sources to build evidence that parents are facing greater stress than perhaps at any time in recent history.
Psychological data shows that one-third of parents of children under 18 rate their stress levels at 8 or higher on a 10-point scale. Two-fifths of parents report feeling numb from so much stress. Three-fifths say stress makes it harder for them to concentrate. Two-thirds are concerned with money issues.
In both cases, parents reported significantly higher rates of stress than non-parents.
“Our stress levels are probably 10 times higher,” said Sarah Barron, a 35-year-old mother of three who lives near Sacramento, Calif., comparing herself to her childless friends. “They can go out for drinks, go out to parties, and they don’t have to find a babysitter.”
“This is the warning we all needed.”
Parenting and parenting advocates praised the Surgeon General’s efforts to sound the alarm on the stresses of modern parenting.
“This is the wake-up call we all needed,” said Gretchen Salyer, founder and CEO of June Care, a company that connects parents and other families for child care. . “You think about the ripple effects that that has on children. If parents can no longer function, how can we expect the mental health crisis among young people to get any better?”
Public Health Secretary Vivek Murthy, a father of two, added a personal note to the recommendations, saying parenting is “the toughest and most challenging job I’ve ever had.”
This report provides a data-driven snapshot of the top causes of parental stress.
Childcare costs are on the rise
According to White House estimates, child care costs have risen 26% over the past decade.
The average household paying for child care spends $325 a week, or 18.6% of their weekly income, according to a recent analysis by personal finance site LendingTree. Another report from Care.com, a website for caregivers, found that the average family spends 24% of their household income on child care.
Both numbers exceed federal guidelines for how much parents should pay in child support.
“There’s no question that child care costs are significantly higher than they were a generation ago,” said Matt Schultz, chief credit analyst at LendingTree. “There are many couples out there who use child support to decide whether it’s worth the effort for one parent to find another job.”
Parents are demanding more of their time
The Surgeon General’s report suggests that parents now face having to spend more time than previous generations.
According to federal data, the average parent spends 33.5 hours a week on work and related activities.
Mothers and fathers alike began working more. The average number of hours worked by mothers increased from 20.9 hours per week in 1985 to 26.7 hours per week in 2022. Fathers’ average working hours increased from 39.8 hours to 41.2 hours over this period.
Parents also spend a lot of time caring for their children. Mothers will spend an average of 11.8 hours a week on child care in 2022, up from 8.4 hours in 1985. For fathers, weekly child care hours increased from 2.6 hours to 6.6 hours at that time.
The federal report lists several other stress points for parents. As the mental health crisis grows among young people, nearly three in four parents are worried that their child will suffer from anxiety or depression. A school shooting, or the possibility of one, is stressful for 74% of parents. Two-thirds of parents experience loneliness.
Technology emerges as a parenting challenge
Technology looms as a unique challenge to American parenting. According to the report, nearly 70% of parents say raising children is more difficult than it was 20 years ago, and social media is the main reason for this.
Sites like TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram have been accused of hijacking children’s brains, monopolizing their time, isolating them from loved ones and causing or aggravating mental health problems.
For struggling parents, the coronavirus pandemic is both a blessing and a curse.
The remote work revolution has enabled millions of parents to work from home, giving them more flexibility in childcare decisions.
However, the pandemic has also closed childcare facilities, leaving large parts of the country in a childcare desert.
“There are fewer and fewer child care facilities,” said Sean Lacey, general manager of child care at Care.com. “We are seeing a shortage of parents and long waiting lists to place their children in nursery schools.”
Barron, a Sacramento mother, gave birth to her third child when the pandemic began.
“Day care wasn’t an option because everything was closed,” she said. “Once I was able to go to day care, it became $3,000 a month,” which was about the same amount as the mortgage.
“I realized I needed to step away from a career I had spent 15 to 20 years building to raise my children.”
Americans tend to become parents later
The stresses of modern parenting are well-documented and have caused many young Americans to think twice about becoming parents.
The U.S. birth rate is at an all-time low, according to federal data. The number of women giving birth in their 30s is also increasing.
Researchers cite career concerns, limited childcare options, inadequate parental leave policies and the cost of raising children as reasons why fewer Americans are having children.
“They’re seeing how much it’s going to cost and how much their lifestyle is going to change, and it’s scary sometimes,” said Scarlett Shue, 37, of San Diego.
Xu waited until her mid-30s to have her first child, and is now celebrating her second birthday.
“I wanted to make sure I was okay financially,” she said.
‘Childcare desert’: In this state, parents pay a third of their income on childcare.
How can policy makers help stressed parents?
The Surgeon General’s report lists several policy tools available to the federal and local governments to assist struggling parents. among them:
◾ Promote and expand funding for programs such as Head Start and Healthy Start that support parents with early education and medical needs.
◾ Establish a national paid family and medical leave program.
◾ Invest in social infrastructure that connects parents and caregivers, such as community parks and programs.
◾ Ensure that parents and carers have access to affordable and quality mental health care.
