Parenting is hard work, and we cannot continue to ignore its impact on caregivers’ well-being. In August 2024, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy emphasized this reality when he declared parental stress an “urgent public health issue.” His report highlights the urgent need for change in the way we support parents and carers.
“Something has to change. Supporting parents and carers requires a series of thoughtful policy changes and ensuring that parents and carers have time off to spend time with sick children and affordable We need expanded community programs that ensure affordable child care, access to reliable mental health care, and benefit from social connections and places and initiatives that support our communities. ”
His report highlights a number of themes found in our ongoing research into carers’ mental health, including how a lack of information at the beginning of parenthood can lead to stress and frustration. did. For example, one participant talked about feeling lost when it came to newborn sleep:
“They also didn’t tell me about the wake window. A two-week-old baby can only stay awake for 45 minutes. I had no idea. I don’t know why they thought they would sleep when they sleep. “You have to do that.” But they didn’t tell me that, and even though I was pretty smart, I still didn’t get it. ”
Another recurring theme in both his report and our research is the need for connection and community. The report states that “parents struggle with loneliness at higher rates than non-parents, which can exacerbate parental stress.” In our study, one mother described her feelings of extreme loneliness and the relief she found in finding another group of mothers: Through. “
Parenting stress is at an unhealthy level for all parents, but some parents may experience even higher levels than others. One factor that can cause extra stress is that the child has a medical or behavioral diagnosis. This is because this requires medical appointments, treatment, and managing unique emotional needs. As Dr. Kelly Fradin, author of Advanced Parenting, points out, successful use of these systems requires parents to simultaneously act as advocates, care coordinators, and caregivers; It can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy.
This story of the uniquely engaged parenting that comes with having a child with a diagnosis was also told by participants in our study. For example, one mother in our study, whose son was diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis and ADHD, talked about how emotionally draining it was to bring together the care team.
“My son’s therapist met with the parents for the first time, and she said, ‘My son was born with this brain. It’s not due to environment. You’re wrong. It’s nothing, it’s just my brain chemistry from the moment my son was born.” It gave me a lot of inspiration about my own adulthood…I was going to be a great mother. I thought, but it really felt like I was failing over and over again. ”
This mother found a turning point when she found a village of other parents who understood her situation and her child’s behavior.
“That’s a whole other layer for our village, knowing Daniel and knowing that he might run around and go crazy. How do we keep him green?” Can we get it back in the zone? And that would be great.”
Building a community of people who “get it” can be transformative for parents, especially those facing intense pressure to require extra care. These connections provide emotional validation and practical support, helping to reduce feelings of isolation.
Recognizing the stress of raising children is an important step in supporting parents. As the Surgeon General’s report highlights, and as studies like ours show, we are parenting in times of crisis. Parents need ongoing mental health support throughout the trip, especially when new challenges arise that can increase stress, such as managing a child’s medical or behavioral diagnosis. It’s time to rethink how we care for parents and ensure their mental health remains a priority during the first few weeks of a child’s life and beyond.
