How parents raise their children is a very personal choice. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting as every family does things differently. While certain approaches to parenting are outdated, such as believing that children should be seen and not heard, there are also old-fashioned parenting techniques that younger generations should reclaim.
The American Association for Positive Care of Children notes that child psychologists have identified four types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, neglectful, and authoritative. Each style indicates a distinct level of caregiver involvement and responsiveness and influences the child’s psychological and emotional development in different ways.
Parents often find that their approach doesn’t fit neatly into one style and may choose to use different tactics depending on the situation. The most important thing in parenting, regardless of your particular style, is to show up as a stable and supportive presence.
Here are 10 classic parenting techniques that younger generations should take home with them.
1. Allow unstructured playtime.
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An old-fashioned parenting technique that younger generations should bring back is allowing children to have unplanned playtime. The American Psychological Association defines unstructured play as “play that is not organized or directed by an adult or older peer and generally has no clear purpose or outcome.” APA pointed out that unstructured play is fundamental to children’s development and can foster children’s independence and increase their self-confidence.
There are many different types of unstructured play, including active play, challenging play, and pretend play. Active play, such as swinging, can help reduce stress and anxiety. Challenging play like jumping and climbing helps children learn decision-making and practice managing and taking risks. Pretend play fosters creativity and teaches children how to control their emotions.
Playing outside is especially beneficial because it promotes a child’s sense of adventure and increases physical activity and mental health.
2. Sit down for dinner with your family.
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Another time-honored parenting technique that younger generations should take home is the tradition of eating dinner together. Sitting down and having a family dinner without the distractions of screens can help kids and parents stay connected after a busy day at school or work.
Lisa Newman, a health coach and certified intuitive eating counselor, says that family mealtimes promote healthy eating habits and “result in better grades in school, lower family stress, and stronger family relationships.” He explained that there are benefits such as “strengthening the relationship between the two countries.”
She admitted that having dinner together might be difficult if schedules don’t align. But sharing meals as a family doesn’t have to be limited to evenings. Having breakfast or lunch as a family is also a great routine. “There are benefits to spending positive time together as a family,” Newman said.
3. Let your child do the housework.
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Giving children tasks to complete around the house teaches them responsibility and independence. It shows them the value of working together to keep the family running smoothly. Parents should try to give their children developmental chores and avoid putting pressure on them beyond the age limit.
By giving your child chores, you teach them empathy and give them a strong sense of self-worth. There are also practical benefits, such as teaching them how to do their own laundry before they go to university. Research from Harvard University and the University of Minnesota shows that children who do housework become happier and more successful adults.
4. Limit extracurricular activities.
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Today’s children are notorious for having too many schedules. They go from school to soccer practice to piano lessons to dance class without having time to catch their breath. Limiting extracurricular activities is an old-fashioned parenting technique that younger generations should bring back. Just like adults, children need time to decompress and relax.
A 2012 study on youth development related to participation in organized activities found that the positive consequences of having a strong extracurricular schedule outweigh the negatives. This study investigated a theory known as the “overscheduling hypothesis.” This theory hypothesized that “too much participation in organized activities leads to poorer developmental outcomes.”
This study concludes that participating in organized activities during the teenage years promotes positive adjustment in young adulthood. Other child and adolescent psychology experts disagree. As Dr. Ronald Stolberg explained, children with too busy schedules don’t learn the skills they need to enjoy and relax on their own. Having free time in addition to extracurricular activities gives children the opportunity to have a more balanced lifestyle and reduces stress levels.
5. Makes children uncomfortable.
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Parents naturally want to protect their children from physical harm and emotional distress, but there are some positive benefits to making children uncomfortable. Cheryl Gerson, a licensed clinical social worker, asked parents two important questions: Have we begun to protect them to the point that we are undermining their psychological resilience? ”
Gerson points out that an important part of raising emotionally resilient children is to teach them that getting what they want isn’t always easy, and that parents should ” “We need to walk alongside our children while they learn how strong they can be.”
She shared that developing a growth mindset is rooted in a child’s “tolerance for frustration, mistakes, and surprises.”
“Children can develop a growth mindset if they can learn to tolerate the temporary discomfort of being wrong until they become curious about their own mistakes,” she says. explained. “A growth mindset welcomes continued discomfort and dissatisfaction and mixes it with excitement, joy, and contentment.”
Younger generations need to bring back this age-old parenting technique because children can learn a lot about themselves by overcoming challenges.
6. Allow more unsupervised time.
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Millennial parents are often stereotyped as overly involved helicopter parents who chase after their children to make sure their needs aren’t met. Parents absolutely need to be present for their children and meet their practical and emotional needs to foster a secure attachment style. Still, there are benefits to taking a step back and letting kids figure out some things independently. When children are able to complete tasks independently, they learn resilience and critical thinking skills.
A Stanford University study found that children with overly involved parents may have difficulty regulating their emotions and behavior. They also struggled with tasks measuring delayed gratification, impulse control, and the ability to shift attention.
“Too much direct involvement can sacrifice children’s ability to control their attention, behavior and emotions,” said the study’s lead researcher, Elena Obradovic. I am. When parents take initiative with their children, children develop self-regulation skills and develop a sense of independence. ”
7. Celebrate your birthday in a simple way.
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Another old-school parenting technique that younger generations should take home is celebrating birthdays simply. While it’s important to make your children feel included and special on their birthday, it doesn’t always have to be a lavish and expensive party.
A child’s birthday can be a big topic in the parenting world. One mother declared she was done with birthday parties for her children after spending more than $700 on a party for one of her three children. Parents can save money and energy by keeping the celebration simple. After all, most kids want to eat cupcakes and play with balloons.
By focusing on birthdays and time spent with family and close friends, rather than obsessing over presents and gift bags, children learn to avoid materialism while practicing gratitude.
8. Replace screen time with reading physical books.
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Reading books with children not only improves literacy skills, but also fosters imagination and family bonding. In contrast, the negative effects of excessive screen time on child development have been widely studied and documented. Children who spend too much time on screens have difficulty controlling their emotions and behavior, but not all screen time is completely harmful.
Digital native children need to learn how to interact with technology, but it’s equally important to develop reading and writing skills. When parents spend time reading with their children, they can increase their creativity and put them on the path to academic success.
9. Make volunteering in your community a priority.
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Being involved in the community is an old-fashioned parenting technique that younger generations should bring back. Many Americans experience harmful levels of isolation and loneliness, but teaching children to connect with their neighbors can alleviate some of those negative experiences.
By participating in community events and volunteering for community service, children learn about the power of helping and serving others, along with other valuable life lessons. They experience a sense of belonging and citizenship that is essential to practicing gratitude.
10. Expect children to have good manners.
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Part of being a parent is modeling appropriate behavior and showing your children how to behave as they transition from adolescence to adulthood. Good manners include, but are not limited to, saying “please” and “thank you.” Good and proper etiquette is based on values such as respect, kindness, and generosity, all aspects of old-fashioned parenting that younger generations should reclaim.
If someone hasn’t been brought up with good manners, it can be obvious. Just as parents teach their children to respect others, they should also teach them to respect themselves. Solid self-esteem allows children to set clear boundaries, stand up for themselves, and know how they deserve to be treated. Teaching children to respect those around them makes the world a kinder place, and the younger generation should take that back.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis, and the entertainment industry.
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