A new survey of more than 5,000 mothers reveals that a surprising majority feel that one of the most hidden aspects of motherhood is the joy that can be found in it. It turns out.
Mothers interviewed as part of Peanuts’ new More Joy campaign admitted that motherhood is difficult (60% admitted it was harder than they expected, and 78% struggled with their mental health) ), an astonishing 94% said. They said they experience overwhelming joy and deep depletion at the same time.
The campaign, launched by the parenting app this week, suggests that joy is almost taboo, and that mothers feel it’s not only unexpressed but also something they can’t talk about. 84% of mothers told Peanut that they believe the content they consume does not accurately represent parent-child relationships. And for years, it may have been interpreted as simply parents feeling that the content out there was too perfect, too self-righteous, but it is. ..not quite the opposite, but not the complete picture.
Women interviewed said they felt embarrassed to share moments of joy for fear of seeming self-righteous or insensitive.
Because when we actually asked them about the joys of being a mother, 81% of the mothers this group spoke to believed that the good parts of being a parent should be emphasized more; The women who received the test actually said they felt embarrassed to share these moments of joy. For fear of seeming self-righteous or insensitive.
But Peanut says the reality is that there will be difficult times, and joy should be shared without shame. And in fact, it may be helpful to many people. With 91% of people surveyed saying that the experience of raising a child has brought them more joy and fulfillment than they expected, non-parents are less likely to experience negative feelings before stepping into the realm of children. It looks like the message is starting to get across.
However, 60% said they found motherhood more difficult than they expected. The majority of women have felt that way, perhaps in recent years, and those of us who struggled and were shocked at first don’t want others to feel that way again. We leaned too much into warning of huge impacts to soften the landing for those behind us. But the adage that no one can truly prepare you is true, so should you stop trying?
What was the meaning of that joyous moment? Well, after some research I found out that it’s a small thing.
Have we gone too far in trying to reassure and console parents during a difficult time? We aimed to comfort people and make them feel less alone, but instead we ended up scaring people and making them feel like nothing they see on social media represents them. Or? probably. But this is a difficult line to balance, and the real truth is that there’s probably a fine line between joy and anger (and the fact that one moment you’re laughing and the next you’re on the verge of crying with anger). ) is probably too sensitive for social media. Peanut is an app designed to bring moms together in a community online and in person, where you can probably find what you need in a coffee shop or a late-night WhatsApp chat. I rarely see it on Google or Instagram. That said, we’ve all been there and will probably do it again.
What else can you do but make things IRL? Peanuts encourages people to share their moments of unfiltered joy, no matter how small or underappreciated, with the tag #morejoymotherhood I am calling on you to do so. Michelle Kennedy, Peanuts founder and CEO, said: “It’s time to stop burdening mothers with unrealistic ideals and impossible standards.” . “Instead, we should celebrate their daily victories and work together to create the changes needed to support future generations of mothers.”
So what did that fun moment involve? Well, after some research, we found out it was a small thing. Mothers found joy in the simplest moments, like a morning cuddle (62%), a spontaneous laugh (57%), or watching their child develop a new skill (52%). In a world where everyone seems to be managing to take their kids to the coolest and best places every moment of every day, it’s a good reminder for the weekend.
Rhiannon Evans is interim content director at PS UK. Rhiannon has been a journalist for 17 years, working for local newspapers before moving to Heat magazine and Grazia. As a senior editor at Grazia, she helped launch parenting brand The Juggle, worked across brand partnerships, and launched the podcast ‘Grazia Life Advice’. An NCE-qualified journalist (yes, she has a shorthand of 120 words per minute), she writes for The Guardian, Vice, and Refinery29.
