These notes will help answer questions my 8 and 6 year olds have about Scoopy Daddy.
What is Scoopy Daddy? How did we get here?
Scoopy Daddy is a child development guidance tool developed by me, your father, in response to recent changes in your attitude and behavior. You probably remember the debut of Scoopy Daddy. A few weeks ago, my family was having ice cream as a special treat, and as usual, I started scooping up some for you. This is my natural role as your legal guardian.
But each of you started screaming and crying like a baby to get a scoop of ice cream. In response, I started playing a character called “Scoopy Daddy.” A grown adult father with the temperament you were exhibiting, that of a misbehaving toddler. Scoopy Daddy stomped his foot and started yelling at you both.
“But I’ll scoop the ice cream! I’m Scoopy Daddy! I’m always scooping! Daddy Scoop! Scoopy Daddy!” Then I stomped my foot a lot and slammed my fist in front of the refrigerator.
As each of you sat in stunned silence, I realized the magnitude of my innovation and decided to expand the scope and nature of Scoopy Daddy beyond a one-off conflict over ice cream. Since then, I have regularly used Scoopy Daddy to support each of you in your actions.
Scoopy Daddy does a lot of unfair things, like the first time he ate an entire carton of ice cream and made us watch him. This seems to violate everything you expect of us behaviorally. Could you please explain what is happening?
Scoopy Daddy is not human. It is a child development education tool. In other words, Scoopy Daddy is not held to any standards of conduct. We don’t expect internal combustion engines to be “polite” or “quiet.” We simply hope that it will help us reach our future destinations. Similarly, we don’t expect Scoopy Daddy’s tools to “treat others with respect” or “refrain from intentionally deflating soccer balls.” We just hope that he will help us reach our destination – better behavior from both of you.
What would happen if Scoopy Daddy fell asleep in our bed?
If you can’t keep your bedtime, one intervention Scoopy Daddy offers is for an adult male to use your bed instead. Scoopy Daddy helps you understand the long-term (i.e. overnight) consequences of not following simple instructions.
Why is Scoopy Daddy allowed to yell at us?
Scoopy Daddy is a mirror of your own actions. When Daddy Scoopy yells at you, it’s because you’re yelling at me, your regular dad. I (your father) will never scream at you. But Scoopy Daddy can and will do it.
What about the catchphrase?
“I’ve been scooped!” is a mnemonic device I developed to help me remember the boundaries between good and bad behavior. Usually I deploy this phrase at the end of Scoopy Daddy’s intervention. By doing so, you can associate this phrase with the feelings you felt after your inappropriate behavior was highlighted.
“You Got Scooped!” This is an extension of Scoopy Daddy’s child development education tools and is a valuable piece of intellectual property. I recently filed a trademark application with the United States Patent and Trademark Office to protect this phrase.
You recently threatened to bring Scoopy Daddy to school. What exactly does that mean? they will kick you out.
In some cases, children need access to certain types of tools at school. Children with asthma may need an inhaler. Children who break their wrist may need a splint. And misbehaving children may need to have a Scoopy Daddy at school. This might look like, for example, Scoopy Daddy wandering around the classroom, overturning desks when necessary, and crying as he rolls around in spilled pencils and paper to intervene. It’s probably true that Scoopy Daddy gets kicked out of elementary school. That’s part of the point.
Isn’t he just Scoopy Daddy?
No, I’m your father. A well-behaved 41-year-old man, he has many friends and acquaintances in his social circle who respect and admire him. Scoopy Daddy is a tool I developed. It might be a good idea to ask if I’m a leaf blower. Yes, I blow leaves, but I’m not one to literally blow leaves. Yes, I will raise you and help you decide between right and wrong, but that doesn’t mean I “am” Scoopy Daddy.
Does mom know about Scoopy Daddy? We noticed that you don’t do Scoopy Daddy when you have Scoopy Daddy.
No comment. She won’t believe you anyway.
