The idea of fathers being overprotective of their teenage daughters may be a trope as old as daughters themselves. On the one hand, yes, we all want to protect our children from physical and mental harm, but sometimes fathers take their children to strange and frankly harmful places. Masu. Professor Neil Shaiminksi, who posts on TikTok as @professorneil, explained exactly what this idea is in a spliced video.
Shaiminski was referring to a video in which “the father of a fellow teenage girl” talks about how his 13-year-old daughter has her first boyfriend. (For clarity, we’ll call him “Girl Daddy.”) “I knew this was coming, but I don’t know if I was ready for it,” says Girl Daddy. I say. He went on to explain that the boy in question was respectful and liked him. Mr. Shaiminski agrees to all this until the other father continues: ”
*Record scratch* That’s right. We heard it too. So was Shaiminsky.
“What now?” the professor asks. “I’m seriously thinking about how he can replace you, and all the answers I can think of are very unpleasant.”
The girl’s father went on to share some good news. Apparently, the daughter’s boyfriend is “absolutely afraid” of her father. Because even though her boyfriend was very loyal, she was physically intimidated by him, as the daughter explained to the girl-dad: “You’re big and you’ve got a lot of muscles.”
Shaiminsky was perplexed. “You want to scare a 13-year-old kid? … He’s 13 years old. So any adult male would look huge.”
However, the girl’s dad was delighted with the turn of events and encouraged viewers to exercise in order to get jacked better than his daughter’s boyfriend.
Shaiminsky had none of that.
“I’m usually much bigger than the people around me,” he says. “My measure of success is not how many little children I scare, but who feels safe in my presence.”
He went on to explain that he wants the dating world to be safe for his daughter, but physical intimidation is not the way to make that happen. A boy who respects a girl because he’s afraid of his father isn’t actually showing respect for her and shouldn’t be the person his daughter wants to date in the first place, Siminksy said. He goes on to say, “If he should respect you and listen to you just because your muscles are bigger than his, then maybe your daughter should respect him if his muscles are bigger than hers.” How should we handle it?”
Those who took part in the comments agreed with the professor’s opinion, with their favorite comment simply saying, “Fear is not respect.”
Sending children out into the outside world can be scary. And sending your kids into the world of dating (or, let’s be honest, “dating” when you’re talking about a 13-year-old), knowing the emotional pain that comes with it, is uncharted territory for parents. But perhaps the best way to solve it is to become the kind and caring people we hope our children will eventually meet.
