Ms. Harris believes that mutual respect and open communication are important to children’s well-being.
Vice President Kamala Harris spoke on her podcast about her experience navigating the complexities of step-parenting, particularly her relationship with her husband Doug Emhoff’s children, Ella and Cole. Harris emphasized the importance of fostering healthy relationships within blended families, drawing on her own experience growing up as the daughter of divorced parents.
Looking back on her upbringing, Harris said, “My parents divorced when I was five years old. When I started dating Doug, his parents had been married for 60 years. I had to explain to him what it was like to be a child.” This background influenced her approach to becoming a stepmother. She emphasized the need for intentionality when building relationships, especially when children are involved.
“I was going to wait to find out that this was a real relationship before I got to know the kids, and I love them because they’re my kids,” she said. This mindset allowed Harris to build a foundation of trust and affection for Ella and Cole before becoming more involved in their lives.
Relationship with ex-spouse
Essential to successful co-parenting is maintaining a respectful relationship with the child’s other parent. Mr. Harris expressed his determination to foster a positive relationship with Mr. Doug’s ex-wife, Kirstin Emhoff. “While we teach our children how to drive and work with them on their homework, we actually need to model how to have emotionally healthy relationships. We need to be very intentional about it.”
Although these relationships can be difficult, Ms. Harris believes that mutual respect and open communication are important to the children’s well-being.
Even as Harris developed relationships with Ella and Cole, he remained sensitive to their feelings towards his mother. She often asked thoughtful questions to make sure they felt safe and didn’t perceive their growing bond with her as a betrayal. “I knew that…so I often asked them, ‘Mommy, how do you do it…can you show me?'” This approach not only acknowledges their loyalty, but also allows her to allowed us to learn from their experiences.
Finally, Harris pointed out the importance of love and connection in blended families. “I grew up with a biological family, and this is the family I love. Young people understand that. It’s up to you to decide about the family you love,” she concluded.
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