culture
I was so busy chasing “fitness” that I lost sight of something more important.
Finding gems like this track is much more satisfying than being a slave to any metric.
I rolled into the driveway and slowed to a stop. I am sweating profusely and feeling exhausted. I’ve only been riding for about an hour, but I tried my best.
I have my rides saved in the Strava iPhone app, waiting for them to be uploaded. I look forward to seeing my progress. Open the ride and scroll down. That’s a 2 point increase in my “fitness score”. Although it is a small improvement, it is satisfactory and verified.
Satisfaction is fleeting. Within just a few days, my 2 point improvement disappeared and my fitness score was back to where it was. And it keeps slipping. If you have a long-lasting cold, you may end up taking a few days off from your bike, but you won’t be riding for weeks at a time. All the gains I made a few weeks ago are immediately erased as if they never happened.
Having this fitness data at my fingertips, and seeing it every time I ride, is both a blessing and a curse.
It feels good when the numbers go up. Even less so if they go in a different direction.
***
My obsession started innocently enough. One day I was scrolling through my stats after a ride and came across a fitness graph. Seeing the graph tilt upwards gave me a sense of satisfaction that I had been missing from cycling for a while now. I’ve been hooked ever since.
The pattern is the same. Immediately after your ride, check to see if your fitness score has improved. Increase feels great. I feel like the ride was mostly pointless because I haven’t seen any improvement. I now realize that I was relying on almost arbitrary metrics to give meaning to my riding.
So what exactly is a Strava fitness score? The glossary page on the Strava website says, “Fitness is a complex concept, but it can be simplified to the accumulation of training.” Essentially, Strava uses heart rate or power meter data to calculate your training impulse for a particular ride, and uses that data and data from other rides to calculate your training load over time. I will. If you’re familiar with chronic training load (CTL), which is used by platforms like TrainingPeaks, Strava’s fitness score is pretty much the same thing, a metric that reflects the intensity and consistency of your riding.
Sadly, “consistent” is not a word I can use to describe my riding over the last few years. In fact, my recent fitness score graph looks more like a jagged mountain range than the steady slope I’d like to see.
Leaving home in November 2022 ended a promising fitness endeavor and forced me to take more than a month off the bike. In November 2023, chronic fatigue and post-viral fatigue prevented me from riding as much as I wanted to for over 4 months. More recently, a hip injury and illness have meant he will be riding minimally for several more months.
Seeing your fitness score drop over and over again can be demoralizing. And even more so when you look back at your numbers from five, eight, and 11 years ago and realize you’ll never reach those same heights again.
Yet, for some reason, I can’t stop checking my fitness score after every ride.
My fitness score over the past two years has shown many ups and downs along the way.
Maybe that’s why I can’t stop looking because those crappy scores give purpose to my riding when I’m not riding as well as I’d like. You may no longer have time to go for long rides in the hills like you once did, or as many short rides as you’d like. But Strava’s fitness score gives you the chance to see your progress even on an hour-long ride. To feel like you’ve accomplished something. Assuming you’re riding hard enough.
But it’s a stupid game. As far as cycling metrics go, Strava’s fitness score isn’t all that informative. You may know how much you’ve been riding lately, or how hard you’ve been riding, but you don’t know how strong you are. not much. Additionally, in order for your fitness score to continue to increase, and therefore for your graph to continue to move upwards, you will need to ride more often, perhaps for longer periods of time, and with increasing intensity. That’s not realistic. Believing otherwise is only setting yourself up for failure.
As it turns out, there’s a bigger question to answer here. Instead of trying to find meaning in meaningless numbers or checking them like a devil after every ride, you need to figure out what you actually want from your cycling. If you feel like riding hard, you may need to aim for the highest normalized power possible for the day and ignore the value of your fitness score regarding your cumulative training over the past few weeks. You might return to more exploratory vehicles with tools like Wandrer that motivate you to discover new trails. Maybe I just need a proper fitness goal.
Or do you just need to be happy to get on your bike when you can, ride for a while, and come back with a clearer, happier head? Maybe I need to get the satisfaction of simply being able to ride the way I want rather than getting hung up on numbers, but that hasn’t always been the case over the last few years.
There were many roads I had never traveled before. Maybe it’s time to start exploring again. (Image: Wandler)
***
Now that I’ve recovered from my recent illness and my back is feeling better, I’m going to go for a one-hour cruise on my bike. Nothing groundbreaking. Just going back and forth on the same bike course I usually ride. However, my thinking this time is different. I want to enjoy this for what it is.
An hour later, I was back on the road and slowly came to a stop. Save your ride in the Strava app and immediately turn off your phone. I have no idea if or how much my fitness score has changed, and I resist the urge to check. It feels weird not knowing. It’s strange but freeing.
I might not be riding hard, I might not be doing any special training, but that’s okay. This past hour gave me exactly what I needed. It was a little exercise and a chance to clear my head. And I’m glad to find that it feels like enough. For the first time in a while, I don’t need a number on a screen to tell me the ride was worth it.
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