Jen Komaromi describes her parenting style as “free range.” Because she gives her children more freedom. Jen Komaromi, 51, was happy that her son, then 15, flew to France alone and changed planes in Paris. She said she spotted a helicopter. Parenting — the opposite of parenting — “funny.”
Thank you for registering!
Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed on the go. Download the app
By clicking “Sign Up”, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You can opt-out at any time by visiting our settings page or by clicking “unsubscribe” at the bottom of the email.
This essay is based on a conversation with Jen Komaromi, 51, who owns a bakery and gift store in the Bay Area. Edited for length and clarity.
My son Jacques was invited to stay with a family friend for a month in the French countryside, but timing prevented him from traveling with us.
At first, I was hesitant to take my 15-year-old son on two planes by himself. He had a layover in Paris. But when I called Air France, they pretty much laughed off my concerns. It was as if they thought I was crazy.
It was perfectly legal for him to travel unaccompanied. He didn’t even need a notarization. The customer service rep was so laid back that I wondered why.
In the summer of 2021, my husband of 50 years, Kevin, and I waved at the San Francisco airport. Eleven hours later, Jacques texted me to say he had arrived in Charles de Gaulle and was waiting at the gate for my transfer to Lyon. .
It went smoothly. He returned safely. We are proud of his independence and our confidence in him.
I didn’t want to feel scared while raising my child.
We have long held the belief that Jack, now 18, and his sister Ebby, 14, should enjoy as much freedom as is reasonably possible.
We live in a safe area. But I’ve become increasingly aware of how much fear influences people’s parenting choices. I made a conscious decision not to be afraid of parenting.
The idea of being a helicopter parent monitoring your child’s every move is a little ridiculous to me.
When Jack was in first grade, he started walking from school to the library by himself. The library was almost next door, but we had to cross the road.
Komaromi and her husband believe their two children benefit from being raised free-range. Courtesy of Jen Komaromi
Things need to be done in stages. One of the biggest misconceptions about free-range parenting (a method we happily practice) is that you’re throwing your kids to the wind.
For us, it was a step-by-step process of baby steps. At first, I accompanied him to the library. I then stayed behind and chatted with the teacher before catching up with him.
After building up enough confidence, he went there by himself and stayed to do his homework before walking to the store where we worked and meeting us.
Evie followed suit in terms of independence. The only thing holding her back, and I think this is often the case with girls, is that she doesn’t have many friends with like-minded parents. She wanted to do activities and adventures with other kids, but it’s not as much fun on her own unless her parents allow it.
Related articles
My children know to ask for help when needed
But she and Jack found their tribe. When Jack was 13 years old, he and a friend took a daylong bike ride to the top of a mountain overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge. It was about 60 miles round trip. Last month, Evie and a friend took their bikes on a ferry and biked 45 miles around the bay.
I know they will ask for help if needed. They have been raised to speak confidently to strangers.
Parenting is about being your child’s first teacher. You teach them how to navigate the world, but then you have to step back and let them do it themselves.
Do you have an interesting story about your parenting style that you’d like to share with Business Insider? Send your details to jridley@businessinsider.com.
