The concept of free-range parenting became mainstream in 2008 when New York columnist Lenore Skenanzy wrote an article titled “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old ride the subway alone.” In her article, Skenanzy specifically states that she helped her son read subway maps and gave him money when he needed it. However, critics still argued that her decision bordered on child neglect.
Skenanzy has started a campaign to encourage parents to stop being helicopter parents. She warned of the dangers of overprotecting children and encouraged other parents to raise independent children who can make healthy choices for themselves.
Over the years, many other parents have made news with their free-range parenting approach. However, there are some instances where Child Protective Services becomes involved in families where free-range parenting appears to be negligent.
Ibarra Lozano
What is free-range parenting?
Advocates of free-range parenting argue that this parenting style is not about permissiveness or non-involvement. Instead, it is important to allow children the freedom to experience the natural consequences of their actions when it is safe to do so. It is also important to equip children with the skills they need to become responsible adults.
There’s not always a clear answer to when a child is ready to take on adult responsibilities, such as riding the subway alone. What is considered normal among parents in one area may be considered neglect in another city or state. There has been much discussion about issues such as:
From what age should children be allowed to stay home alone? At what age can a child sleep alone overnight? At what age is a child allowed to walk alone on the street? Can a child play in the park without an adult? At what age can older siblings supervise younger children?
One family may allow a 7-year-old to walk to the park alone, while another may still hire a babysitter for a 12-year-old. Some states have special laws governing at what age children can be left home alone or walked to school. In most states, it is up to parents to decide on a case-by-case basis.
Characteristics of free-range parenting
Skenanzy makes it clear that free-range parenting is not abandonment. Instead, it’s about giving them freedom and the opportunity to “just be kids.” Here are some of the main features of free-range parenting.
Parents allow a lot of unscheduled activities. Free-range parents encourage unplanned play instead of rushing from violin lessons to soccer practice every day. For example, instead of adults enforcing the many rules of a baseball game, free-range children are encouraged to play pick-up games with neighborhood friends. It is important to play in nature. Free-range children are encouraged to play outside instead of using electronic devices. Free-range parents want their children to have fun without technology, such as playing in the garden, building forts, and risky activities that promote resilience and independence. Children gain independence. Free-range parents give their children independence and gradually give them freedom and responsibility. We focus on showing children that they can try new things and accomplish difficult tasks on their own. Free-range parents do not parent out of fear. Many parents take safety precautions like wearing a helmet when riding a bike, but they also understand that accidents can happen anywhere. They allow their kids to play on the playground and try new things because they know it’s good for them, even if they might get hurt sometimes.
There are certainly different ideas about how much freedom children should have. Times have changed, and while some parents feel it’s a bad idea to let their children play alone outdoors, others feel that overprotection is a more real danger to their child’s development. There are some too.
Important points
Free-range parenting is when parents allow their children autonomy and do not closely supervise all activities. It often involves outdoor play, unscheduled activities, and an overall relaxed attitude towards rules.