The woman in my phone peels a small piece of black tape from her lips and smiles as she wiggles it in front of the camera. She unclasps the chinstrap that fastens behind her head. She peels off her glittering night mask, one on her forehead and one under her eyes. She shakes a clump of curly hair out of her baby-pink silk bonnet, rubs some oil into the roots, and tells the audience that she’s about to take “all the showers.”
This is “morning stripping”. It is the process of removing beauty products and treatments that have been worn overnight. On TikTok, videos about morning huts rack up millions of views, with content creators swearing by the mantra: “The more you sleep, the uglier you get, and the hotter you wake up.” Another video: This time the woman is in bed. She looks a bit creepy, her actual face hidden by layers of product. “Guys, if he doesn’t love you with your mouth tape, Korean sleeping mask, boric acid, side sleeping pillow, toe separator, and silk bonnet…” the caption reads.
As I watch clips of women lathering up chemicals and wearing “toe separators” (whatever that is) to bed, I can’t help but wonder, “How do these people have sex?” I can’t.
Daisy, 24,’s extensive nighttime treatment regimen includes applying multiple products, wearing a mouthguard and an eye mask. She and her boyfriend still have sex, but she realizes that her obsession with routine is blocking opportunities for intimacy after sex. “My boyfriend gets very annoyed with me,” she says. “After sex, you should immediately run to the bathroom, wash your face twice for at least 20 minutes, and apply serum and moisturizer.”
“There’s no moment when you fall asleep together right away in a romantic way,” she continued, adding that you won’t “wake up confidently” if you skip your routine, so sticking to a routine is “a non-negotiable.” โ, he added. “By the time I’m done, my boyfriend is asleep and I don’t have a chance to hug him anymore.” Her boyfriend is not happy with the situation. “He often brings it up in the morning and we sometimes get into arguments about it.”
Of course, everyone’s situation is different, so we can’t simply conclude that people who take care of their nightly skin care don’t have sex. “Sex exists outside of Hollywood’s ‘sleep, lights out, sex’ routine,” says beauty critic Jessica Defino. “I think it’s a bit reductive to say that just because someone puts on a mask and tapes it over their mouth before bed, that doesn’t mean someone who takes it off in the morning probably isn’t having sex (…) Everyday sex exists outside the framework of “looking sexy.” “”
Yes, sex is cool, but have you ever taken out your dry contacts, washed your face and skincare, drank lots of water, and climbed into bed after a long day?
โ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ข๐๐๐๐ง๐๐๐ (@sunnydrip) April 17, 2021
Additionally, for some people, talking openly to their partner about the effort that goes into their beauty routine can actually make them more vulnerable to their partner. In the early stages of past relationships, Holly* would often sleep with her makeup on all night, but it wasn’t until her partner that she started to feel like she could do a complete skincare routine before bed. It was only after I became more comfortable with my relationship. “It felt like a new form of intimacy (…) They made me feel attractive even at the things that I felt were the most self-conscious and the least sexy,” she said. says.
But there’s certainly something decidedly unerotic about the direction health and beauty culture is heading. No one seems to be skipping their skincare routine anymore because they can’t bear to be out of their partner’s arms for even 10 minutes or welcome a little saliva. or sweat (or semen) on the skin. No, instead we end up sleeping with our mouths taped shut, afraid of having our faces touched or laughing, and staying at our partner’s house so they can’t see your makeup-free skin. Don’t miss the chance to spend a night in Botox, even if it damages your emotional connection with others. “Beauty culture forces us to be preoccupied with our appearance almost all the time. Some studies have shown that women who are distracted by thoughts of their appearance during sex experience less sexual satisfaction.” It has been shown that you may not have a low, sustained orgasm,โ Defino says.
If the beauty industry encourages us to pursue such unrealistic and inhuman ideals, maybe it’s no wonder we’re in a sex recession. The average Gen Zer has sex just three times a month, according to a recent report on global sexual habits by Dr. Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute in collaboration with dating app Field. A significant 37 percent of Gen Z reported not having sex at all in the last month. But it’s no wonder everything feels so hygienic, clinical and creepy. What is so erotic about the “glossy donut skin” and the “clean girl aesthetic”? “Beauty culture[primarily]encourages women to prioritize aesthetics over eroticism – looking sexy over feeling sexy,” Defino added.
Everyone is beautiful and no one is excited https://t.co/zd20jdH4ze
โ Kriken Jobber Snubt-o-Heart (@gymnasiearbetet) July 10, 2024
We are so desperate for perfection that we internalize the idea that we are not worthy of being loved before achieving arbitrary (and impossible to maintain) standards of beauty. There are some too. “Being beautiful is considered more important than having sex or falling in love, especially for many women, because the message is that being beautiful is the gateway to having sex or falling in love. It’s just a non-negotiable part of the process,โ Defino added. “The pursuit of beauty is often the pursuit of a ‘good life,’ which includes sex and love.”
But much of the erotic appeal lies in its credulity. When someone looks perfect, it’s impossible to actually connect with them or lust for them (this is why Paul Mescal is so attractive despite his muscular body). looks real). Either way, it looks like no one even wants to be lustful anymore. “Do it for me! It’s self-care!” “It’s a clichรฉ from people who relentlessly and unashamedly pursue beauty standards. The idea of โโbeing feminist or empowering is obviously delusional, but it’s true that our obsession with appearance is a problem.” Our culture is dominated by individualism and self-optimization. This trend is increasing in tandem with the increasing emphasis on
In RS Benedict’s seminal 2021 article “Everyone is Beautiful and Nobody is Exciting,” she writes that in the past, people, rightly or wrongly, ” He claims he was trying to look good so he could “attract more attractive people and have sex with him.” But today, she writes, priorities have changed. “The body is no longer a holistic system. It is no longer a means by which we experience pleasure and enjoyment during our short time on earth. It is no longer a home in which we can live and be happy,” Benedict said. wrote. “It’s also a collection of features, like a six-pack, thigh gap, or semen groove. And these features don’t exist to make our lives more comfortable, but rather to add to our assets. It exists to add value.โ
This is consistent with DeFino’s view. โBeauty standards have always been about disciplining the female body to be more of an object of consumption than just a body,โ she explains. โThe self-objectification of beauty standards might more accurately be called self-mechanization today. I am trying.โ
However, we cannot live like this. Perhaps your skin will be less prone to breakouts if you don’t let anyone kiss your face. Applying argan oil to your hair every day before bed may make your hair shine more (sorry, wearing a chinstrap won’t make your chin more sculpted, but that’s definitely not true) has been proven). With clear skin and shiny hair, society may become more kind. Indeed, there are countless socio-economic benefits to be gained by conforming to dominant beauty standards, and as a result, we cannot help but strive for what society deems “perfection.” But is it really social status that matters, or is it really living?
*Name has been changed
