Samantha sat on a worn couch in her small apartment, her cocker spaniel Pooch curled up next to her. Her emergency bag was full and a friend was on the phone waiting to pick her up. But the retirement wasn’t just for her safety. It meant abandoning the only person who had ever given her unconditional love and support. For Samantha, the thought of leaving Pooch behind was unbearable. In fact, it was so unbearable that she stayed there.
Every month, she thought about walking away from the abuse she experienced, but when she saw Pooch sitting near the door, wide-eyed in shock, she thought back. “I can’t leave him. He’s my baby,” she said, revisiting her safety plan. She was worried about not being with someone special to her, but she was also worried that her partner would use him as a pawn to get revenge for leaving.
Source: Ly Huynh / Pixabay
The decision to leave an abusive relationship is often complicated by the fear of leaving a pet behind.
Research shows that a significant number of IPV victims like Samantha wish to abandon their pets, either due to the emotional distress of being separated from their furry family members or fear that their pets will be harmed in retaliation. First, they refuse to leave abusive situations1,2. This highlights an often overlooked aspect of intimate partner violence: the bond between survivors and their pets.
As a practitioner who specializes in working with survivors, I see many clients who struggle to leave their pets in dangerous situations. According to Campbell Research and Consulting, an astonishing 71% of pet owners in abusive relationships report that they would rather remain in an abusive environment than abandon their animal1.
To an outsider, this may seem foolish. Why should I risk my safety? But for pet owners, leaving a fur child can be similar to leaving a human child. Research has also shown that animals can be targets of abuse in IPV situations2,3. Many of my clients worry that if they leave their home, their pet will be harmed or used as a means of manipulation by their abuser.
Pets are such an important part of our lives that I always include them in the safety plans I create with my clients.
I will also consider this important step when providing training to other practitioners and agencies supporting survivors. Including dependents such as children, pets, and other creatures increases the likelihood that you can safely leave the house if you are comfortable leaving them at home. As a cat mom, I understand.
A comprehensive support system is needed that recognizes the importance of pets in the lives of IPV survivors.
Pets often serve as a source of comfort and stability, especially for survivors. For many of us, our fur babies represent a form of unconditional love that contrasts with the abuse we have experienced. Pooches are more than just pets to Samantha. He is a lifeline that provides emotional support and a sense of purpose. Breaking up with him means sacrificing the only source of joy and connection that makes her feel happy and hopeful during this stressful time.
While some organizations provide resources and support for survivors and their pets, such as pet-friendly shelters and adoption programs, many shelters lack the resources3 to adopt pets. , survivors like Samantha feel trapped in an impossible choice: leave their pets behind or remain in a dangerous location. environment.
Supporting victims of IPV requires recognizing that pets are part of the family system.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit the website www.thehotline.org. Please contact us for more information and assistance.
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