Recent research has shown that the way we praise children can make a difference in their well-being. Read what the experts say.
Recent research has shown that the way we praise children can make a difference in their well-being. Read what the experts say. Verifier: Dr. Amanda Niland, School of Education and Social Work, University of Sydney
Written by Kinkini Gupta |Updated: October 18, 2024 2:56 PM IST
Researchers have long believed that fostering children’s self-esteem is the most important job we do as parents. According to research conducted by Dr Amanda Niland from the School of Education and Social Work at the University of Sydney, “Recent research has shown that the way we share praise can make a difference to children’s well-being.” We believed that children need rewards and so-called “extrinsic motivation”, especially praise to boost their self-esteem and “become good people”. Because of this, excessive or exaggerated praise has become rampant, even for the simplest of things, like putting away some toys, in the hope that this praise will lead to some action. We believed that praise was the only way to get children to cooperate and to do something to make us happy. Dr. Amanda goes on to elaborate on how constructive praise can have a positive impact, and how it shouldn’t be overstated. Read more.
What does the research show?
Research conducted by Dr. Amanda shows that what really drives children is a need for connection, a need to know that they matter and are valued. Dr. Niland says you can do that perfectly by not giving them lots of praise, but instead by acknowledging them, paying attention to them, and spending time with them. Telling children specifically what they’re doing shows you’re really watching or listening more than a general compliment.
For example, according to Dr. Amanda, phrases such as “I can see how carefully you made that Lego” or “That helps me put the cup in the sink” have more impact than “Good boy/good boy.” Beneficial. Because this phrase doesn’t actually tell the child what they did.
Can exaggerated praise backfire?
Dr. Amanda says that over-praising can have a negative impact on a child’s personality and personality. Raising children who rely on praise can lead them to believe they are better than others or to have an unrealistically high understanding of their own abilities. These are narcissistic traits and are not healthy in the long run.
Research on different types of praise has shown that praise that focuses on a child’s effort, behavior, and accomplishments, also known as “process praise,” as in the example above, differs from praise that focuses on the child’s person, appearance, or personality. It turns out that it has a completely different effect. “Praising others” can make children feel that they have to be better than others and meet certain standards. Research over the past decade has found that children who receive more “process praise” tend to be more confident, resilient, and successful in school.
But we are often drawn to praising our children even when we probably shouldn’t. Of course, there are strong opinions on both sides, and a lot of emotion goes into how we celebrate and celebrate our children, precisely because we care about them.
conclusion
Dr. Amanda Niland says the most important thing for parents, guardians, teachers, or children’s relatives to remember is that humans are social beings, and children innately desire connection with those closest to them. He concluded by saying that it means being. We can create such connections simply by giving them our attention as warm, interested, and supportive beings. Doing things with your children and paying attention to what they are doing is the most effective way to develop safe and resilient young people. Whether it’s building together with Legos, sharing stories, or unpacking groceries, giving your kids your time and attention is far more beneficial than praise in general.
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