To tell you the truth, last week’s article wasn’t meant to be last week’s column. It all happened as a result of a minor accident while riding the trails at Mill Creek Park.
My concentration wandered for a moment, thinking about what I was going to write later, and the next thing I knew, my foot hit a root and I fell down.
Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Just a few bruises, a scraped knee, and a humble reminder to be careful.
This time I finished the run with my feet completely on the ground. But that little fall led to last week’s article. It was a reminder to myself why I’m doing this work.
But this week, let’s go back to what I was actually thinking about before the fall.
First of all, I was a very nice kid when I was a kid. He’s really an otaku. Things that haven’t changed much.
Now that I’m an adult, I’ve come to accept it. But as a parent, it became clearer to me that I may have been a little rough with my own mother. It’s funny how that happens, isn’t it? Everything we did as children comes back to us in some form.
Parenting is a strange dance of trying to raise independent and confident children without going gray too soon. And I found myself in the middle of “Let’s make them understand” and “How do I stop this train before it derails?” spectrum.
I was no saint. There was a lot of boundary testing, talk back, and general teenage rebellion.
I have been sent to my room so many times that I resist any restraints to this day. But I never touched drugs. My experiment was alcohol, friendship, location, and many choices that tested the limits of my mother’s patience.
One memory stands out, though, and it’s a bit of a letdown.
It was right after my father passed away. I was in college, living at home with my parents, and I wasn’t coping well.
My mother didn’t like me traveling, so at that time I was itching to escape. So when the opportunity came to go to Los Angeles, I knew I would get a resounding “no” if I asked for permission.
What did I do? I skipped the asking part, arranged for a shuttle service to pick me up while my mom was at work, hopped on a plane, and took off.
To make matters worse, I told her I was going to stay at a friend’s house for the weekend.
When I got home, I put my stuff in my room as if nothing had happened. The next day, my brother casually pointed out that I might want to remove the airport tag from my suitcase. Typical sibling behavior – always looking out for each other, like how I defended him when he almost got caught talking about his tattoo on the phone while my mother’s scanner picked up his phone. covered his butt.
We may fight sometimes, but we can help each other when it’s important.
Now, with two of my own sons entering their teens, it all becomes clear to me.
Secrets, half-truths, a desire to avoid the inevitable conversation. Like me, they are trying to figure out who they are. And I find myself in this exhausting game of chess, trying to outwit them, predicting their next move, and more often than not, feeling like I’m losing. I did.
At the very least, it leaves you exhausted.
Parenting at this stage is all about balance. As parents, guide your children as they make choices, learn from them, and grow.
It’s not easy. Yes, Mom, this is the part where I say “I’m sorry.” And thank you for never abandoning me.
I’d love to hear from you: How do you find that balance? How do you walk the tightrope between fostering growth and keeping your feet on the ground?
After all, isn’t that the goal? To develop outstanding human beings who are independent, confident, and ready to offer their talents to the world.
Lisa Resnick, mother, author, entrepreneur, and founder of Dandelion-Inc, wants to hear from you. Share your memories with her by emailing lisa@dandelion-inc.com.
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