Acting legend Al Pacino is back to offer parenting advice after recently confirming on a world exclusive that there is “nothing” after death following his near-death experience with the coronavirus.
Al, who became a father again at age 84, has some important tips that may be helpful to other older fathers.
“When I first read the news, he passed away at the age of 84, and I said that can’t be true. But I am me, and I’m alive, and it says ’84-year-old dad.’ I realized that. If you ask me, that’s scarier.
Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. What I’m saying is, everyone, please wear a condom. Even in my 80s. You might think it would just shatter into chalky dust, but those swimmers are still swimming.
By purchasing adult-sized diapers, you and your child can make the most of your diapers.
Cut your baby food in half. No need to chew, what a dream!
Keep your child close, but keep your nurse close too.
Remembering names can be difficult, so make sure your child wears a name tag. Wear it yourself. Remembering your own name can sometimes be just as difficult.
Say hello to my little friend. She is the mother of a child who is 55 years younger than me and handles most of the child’s care.
Schedule the eight times you wake up during the night to pee to coincide with night feedings.
Buy a mobility scooter with a baby basket sidecar. It’s expensive, but worth it.
When you get older, planning is important, so make sure the funeral doesn’t coincide with the first day of nursery school. ”
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