Hustle culture. From 9am to 5pm. daily hardships. Whatever you call it, we’ve been conditioned to work, work, work, work, work (cue RiRi). It’s no wonder that the quiet way he quit became a hot topic and made headlines. Another viral trend on TikTok takes it a step further by abandoning the stress and wheel of traditional work. The term “soft life” was coined to refer to a lifestyle that values rest and comfort, a concept that has been lost in today’s toxic productivity swings. So, is it enough to just lead a peaceful life? Keep learning more about the Soft Life MO and how you can adapt it to your life.
What is “soft life”?
The term “soft life” or “soft era”, which originated in the Nigerian influencer community, refers to living a happy and comfortable life while limiting stress. With over 1 billion views, TikTok has no shortage of content depicting a stress-free #softlife. It was popularized by Black female creators and influencers who put themselves first in response to the hustle and bustle of the 2010s and “girlboss” culture. According to the Invisible Black Girl page, soft living means that black women no longer embrace strength and work ethic as their sole identity.
“A ‘soft life’ is about choosing peace, joy, and harmony with your true self,” explains Atiyah Awadalla, psychotherapist and owner of Lenora: Art Therapy and Counseling. Masu. “It’s important to simplify your approach to life, prioritize your emotional, mental and physical health, and create a sense of balance and fulfillment. Living a calm life encourages you to slow down and embrace peace, rest, and meaningful connections.” Living a calm life builds emotional resilience, releases unnecessary pressure, and brings happiness from within. can focus on. “This doesn’t mean you’re avoiding responsibilities or life’s challenges. Rather, it’s about approaching life with balance, boundaries, and a sense of purpose,” says Steadfast Counseling therapist and trauma therapist. Expert Lauren Auer emphasizes. “Living peacefully means making decisions based on what feels right for you, honoring your needs and aligning with your values.”
While some people paint a luxurious image of viral trends with glimpses of fancy restaurants, luxury vacations, and all things luxurious (cars, clothes, workouts), it’s hard to ignore that consumerism and pursue true self-care (going to therapy). Some people focus on , delegating tasks, setting clear boundaries). Living a soft life is subjective and everyone can experience it. The purpose of a soft life is to reject the struggle, stress, and anxiety that comes with hustle culture and prioritize pleasure and experience instead.
It doesn’t mean scaling back on your career commitments, such as quietly quitting. It means prioritizing your own happiness first. It might mean quitting a toxic job or leaning into aspects of your job that you really like. It’s not anti-labor. It simply means setting boundaries where you need to be (work, relationships, housework, etc.) so you can feel less stress and more joy in your life overall. Soft living may seem like a luxury, but it’s essentially a mindset that fosters balance, self-awareness, intentionality, and joy.
“Living peacefully means making decisions based on what feels right for you, honoring your needs and aligning with your values.”
Tips for adopting a soft lifestyle
Just like self-care and overall health, whatever soft living means to influencers and how it’s portrayed, it’s all about doing things that bring you joy, mentally and physically. , it’s up to you to do what helps your emotional health. Here are some hacks to help you enjoy a softer life in your own way.
Prioritize rest as a foundation
Rest is productive. Things like laundry, work emails, and grocery shopping can wait. There’s always something to pay attention to or something to check off your to-do list, but your mind and body aren’t designed to run on empty. “In a peaceful life, rest is not an option; it is fundamental,” Awadalla said. “Embracing rest without guilt means understanding that rest is essential to your health. Cherishing rest is just as important as any other responsibility. ”
Taking time to unplug, quiet, and relax will not only improve your mental and physical health, but also your creativity, productivity, and mood. Taking time to rest and recharge allows you to have more quality time in other areas of your life. A soft life is about bringing balance and grace to every corner of your day. To make sure you get some R&R, schedule your breaks and treat them as mandatory, just like you would a medical exam or a work meeting.
Get out of “fight or flight” mode
A key component to leaning into a softer lifestyle is removing stress from the equation (even though it seems impossible). Because, as we can all attest, the “fight-or-flight” state of stress often takes a toll on our health and causes migraines, digestive issues, and anxiety. “Living a peaceful life means getting out of a constant “fight or flight” mode, where everything feels like a survival response, and instead creating a life of freedom, flexibility, and flow. ,” Auer said. “It’s about moving away from the idea that you always have to give your best or push yourself to the limit and create space for peace and happiness. This often means living in a place of calm rather than stress.” “When your body is not in a constant state of alert, you can make healthier, more intentional choices.”
Everyone deals with stress differently, so you may need to try different techniques to reduce stress. Are there any proven methods? Therapy, mindfulness practices, breathing techniques, walking, and optimal sleep. Simply taking more breaks throughout the day can help you feel more focused and grounded.
Establish boundaries around time and priorities
Whether it’s work, relationships, or sex, setting boundaries is non-negotiable to maintain balance in your life and protect your mental health. First of all, learn to say “no”. If you are a people-pleaser (same) and that word is not present in your vocabulary, always say “yes” and avoid turning your back on things that are important to you, even on vacation. Please remember that you will be there. Or respect. “Part of living peacefully is being really intentional about how you spend your time and what your priorities are,” Auer says. “It’s about saying ‘no’ to things that drain you and allowing your life to reflect what’s truly important to you. Setting boundaries means saying ‘no’ to others.” But it’s also about protecting your own energy and health. ”
Respect your needs and desires by being upfront and clearly communicating in your book what’s OK and what’s not, especially when it comes to how you want to be treated. This might mean setting boundaries around work hours or setting aside time for breaks and connection. result? Build trust, foster healthy connections, and become more appreciated.
“Soft living may seem like a luxury, but it is essentially a mindset that fosters balance, self-awareness, intentionality, and joy.”
live intentionally
Sure, having a routine takes the guesswork out of your day-to-day life, but how much are you focused on the present moment when you’re running on autopilot?Practicing intentional living The first step is to clearly identify your values and what the best, higher, happiest version of yourself and your life embodies. Then, actively work toward them.
One of the misconceptions about soft living is that you have to swim in money to fully enjoy life. Rather, it’s about being intentional about how you spend your hard-earned cash and time (time is money, after all). What experiences are important to you and make you feel good? Focus on those and pursue them. “Living peacefully means having daily rituals that restore rather than deplete,” Awadalla said. “These rituals aren’t about being productive, they’re about finding peace and resetting.” They can be creative expression (such as doodling or painting), movement, or relaxing, such as a quiet cup of tea. anything that encourages you to process your thoughts and embrace the quiet moments of your day.
let go of perfectionism
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, perfectionism can help you achieve your goals and strive to be your best self, but on the other hand, it can lead to negative self-talk, anxiety, and not feeling good enough. Living a peaceful life is the opposite of perfectionism. Instead, it represents embracing imperfection and letting go of the need to “get it right” all the time. “Embrace imperfection as part of the process and remember that your worth is not tied to perfect performance,” Awadalla said. “It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s in the moments of imperfection that we find growth and peace. Letting go of perfectionism allows us to have more compassion for ourselves.”
So how can you learn to be “okay” and relax your extremely high standards? You can start by asking for help when you need it. Soft living involves allowing yourself to be vulnerable and asking for and accepting help without feeling guilty. Whether it’s having too much to do at home or not being able to meet deadlines at work, we all have a breaking point. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather an opportunity to build relationships and learn new skills from others. Then, when self-criticism creeps in, say affirmations (my favorite is “I’m good enough”) and let go of the all-or-nothing mindset. After all, perfection doesn’t exist. What your boss or friend thinks is perfect is different than what you think is perfect.
Redefine success on your own terms
Traditionally, success is synonymous with words like money, career, power, and fame, and is measured by how much money you make, the job you hold, and the status you achieve. We have been conditioned to chase the idea of success: we need to be better, faster, richer, more “successful.” But when you adopt a softer approach to life, success is redefined as building a life that honors your true self, your personal values, and your inner fulfillment. “Rather than letting external accomplishments define your worth, ask yourself what truly makes you feel fulfilled,” says Awadallah. “When you redefine success on your own terms, you free yourself from the need to constantly strive and instead start appreciating what truly feeds you.”
Instead of focusing on other people’s definitions of success and getting caught up in what you should or shouldn’t do, Auer suggested considering your own values and aligning them with your priorities. . It’s about doing what’s most important to you. Once you know your values, you can see if your life is in line with those values. ” Let’s say your most important values are late mornings, connection, and creativity. Then living peacefully means waking up early, devoting time each week to relationships, and pursuing new hobbies. Once you know what you value most, you can create your own definition of success that gives you a more meaningful and lasting sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Consult an expert
Lauren Auer, LCPC
Lauren Auer is a certified therapist, trauma specialist, and owner of Steadfast Counseling.
