In the age of gadgets, fast-paced careers, and social media, we seem to be silent.
We fail our children. The family, once the basis of a child’s upbringing, is gradually fading into the background, replaced by screens, social pressures and fractured connections. This is not just a passing observation. It is a crisis that threatens the fabric of relationships, marriages, and the spiritual well-being of future generations. Children are deprived of the concept of family too early in life, and the ripple effects are felt in every aspect of adulthood.
Most teenagers today turn to gadgets and social media to establish their identity, content that tells them they are misunderstood introverts and misunderstood by their parents and society. is often consumed. Depression is almost glamorized and introversion becomes a badge of honor, even if it doesn’t actually reflect that quality. Before they know who they are, they are crammed into boarding schools as early as eight or nine years old, and the spiral continues from there as they become further removed from the core values of their families and communities.
We are a generation of working mothers, workaholics or absentee fathers who are too busy in the name of providing the “best life” for their children. But what is that “best life”? Designer shoes? Expensive gadgets? Luxury Vacation?The truth is, until a certain age, children don’t care whether the brand of clothes or shoes they wear are the latest in fashion. They value the attention, presence, and togetherness that only family can provide. With warm family interaction, children can thrive on old clothes and affordable toys. However, many children today are learning to find connection elsewhere because “mommy is busy and daddy is almost never there.”
Our homes have become fortresses, often lacking the things that spark joy and teach us valuable life lessons. Once an essential pet in many households, they are now rare. Children no longer grow up in a playful environment. They grow up watching mind-boggling shows like Cocomelon and other digital babysitters. As cities become increasingly dangerous, children are confined indoors and isolated from each other and nature. The rough-and-tumble of urban life has caused people to become paranoid about the world, become too wrapped up in the digital realm to develop important social skills, and become disconnected from relationships. Ta.
And then there’s the problem of constant change and detachment. Children raised by nannies see caregivers coming and going with surprising regularity. Every three to six months, there’s a new face, someone to form a new bond with, and when they leave, they part again. Over time, they build walls around themselves and emotionally protect themselves from these temporary connections. They learn early on not to get attached to anyone for too long. In this way, the art of one-night stands and temporary relationships begins to emerge long before the actual relationship. Why invest emotionally in someone who cares about you if they’re gone within a few months? Why get attached?
By the time they’re in their 20s, they’ll meet this man or woman and wonder why they don’t know how to have a stable relationship. But how could that be? They have been conditioned by their environment and education to insulate before things get serious. These men seek guidance from influencers like Andrew Tate, and women model themselves after characters based on television scripts. Instead of true reflection and self-awareness, they are drawn to shallow ideologies and performative lifestyles. Their notions of family and love are shaped by a world written, edited, and designed for the public.
When Instagram highlights and TikTok love trends are the norm, how can we expect them to understand what true love looks like? Of course, they don’t know what forgiveness looks like. I don’t know what it is. Of course, they will be left alone for something as trivial as misplacing the toilet paper. Of course, their love language is an unrealistic expectation that real humans can’t consistently meet. And of course they are miserable. Depression is normalized and glorified as inevitable. Now, I’m not denying mental health issues. I had my own challenges. But spending your whole life in your head, disconnected from reality, only deepens the rift in your soul.
What we fail to understand is that building a strong family requires patience, compromise, and most importantly, presence. How does a child who grew up with housekeepers, gadgets, and absentee parents navigate the emotional state of the family? Family life is filled with cereal bowls in the sink, noisy mornings, grumpy days, If it means an incomplete routine, they balk at the mess of it all. They don’t realize that true love means accepting the imperfections of another person. In the end, we can see that relationships with people are fundamental. The details don’t really matter. Love in its true form covers many sins.
This is where the concept of family shines brightest. Children need community. They need the wisdom of their uncles and aunts, the friendship of their cousins, and the inevitable conflicts that come with it. These conflicts teach you how to resolve differences, compromise, and most importantly, forgive. They fight over toys, get angry, and have to learn the importance of reconciliation. They are tasked with washing clean dishes and must learn responsibility and accountability in the process.
Children grow up through the experience of getting dirty outside, playing until their clothes are a mess, and cleaning up afterwards.
These experiences ground them in reality.
They learn that people are not perfect and neither are their situations. They learn that broken toys can always be replaced, but broken family bonds can never be replaced. These lessons about forgiveness, responsibility, and love cannot be taught through gadgets or social media.
It’s a wonderful place now, but children will only realize it if they are rooted in family and love. They must be taught to live in the real world, surrounded by people who love them unconditionally. Only then can children grow into balanced and mentally healthy adults who are capable of true love and true relationships.
By rediscovering the importance of community and family, we give our children the tools to grow not only in their careers but also in life. And maybe, just maybe, future generations will be too focused on our little hearts breaking before our eyes to need to repair the damage we have done.
Stephanie Sewes Shaaka
Makurdi University of Agriculture, Benue State.
(email protected).
