Betsy Epp
Netherlands – Our close-knit community shares the goal of raising resilient children. Our collective experience and knowledge from neuroscience remind us that children thrive when they feel seen, comforted, safe and secure by caring adults. As parents, our responses to our children’s emotions are critical in shaping their emotional and social well-being. We are in this together, learning and growing as a community, and our shared experiences make us uniquely capable of supporting each other.
On October 1st at Nederland Elementary School, Mountain Strong Families explored the importance of parents nourishing themselves to better raise their children. They emphasized the importance of self-care to break reactive parenting patterns.
Understanding the origins of these reactions often requires looking back at childhood experiences. Dr. Dan Siegel emphasizes that understanding early life experiences can help break unhealthy cycles and rewire the brain for healthier parenting.
During the sessions, parents learned practical techniques for managing stressful parenting moments. A simple but powerful tool, the “Stop, Drop, Breathe” method allows parents to pause when they feel reactive, abandon the immediate agenda to avoid a power struggle, and use breathing techniques. Encourage them to use it to calm down. These simple strategies, while not complex, can be very effective in helping parents shift from being reactive to being empathetic and responding effectively to difficult situations.
In addition to immediate calming strategies, parents sought deeper efforts to heal childhood wounds that may surface in our reactions to our children. Parents are encouraged to reflect on their own ’emotional backpacks’ – feelings of hurt, rejection or fear that they carry from childhood, which can influence how they respond to their child’s behavior. There is sex. Parents brainstormed ways to incorporate physical activity, sleep, creativity, and mental health into their lives.
As parents, it’s difficult to respond to our children with the patience and empathy they need when we’re empty-handed. That’s why it’s so important to make time for self-care. Whether it’s taking a few minutes to breathe, going for a walk, or asking for help, these small acts of self-care aren’t luxuries, they’re essential to recharging your emotional batteries.
A recent public health advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General underscores this, warning of a growing mental health crisis among parents. By prioritizing our own health, we teach our children the importance of self-care and become better, more present parents.
Remember, self-care doesn’t have to be complicated, expensive, or time-consuming. It can be as simple as locking the bathroom door for a few minutes of quiet, going for a walk, reading a book, or letting the laundry wait while you nap.
The U.S. Surgeon General’s message validates the pressure we all feel as parents and encourages us to prioritize our health. So if you’ve been putting yourself off, now’s the time to make a change for you and your family. You have the power to make small but important changes in your life.
TEENS, Inc., a local organization specializing in family support, will hold its next Mountain Strong Families event on Thursday, November 7th. This event is a valuable opportunity for parents and caregivers to learn and grow in the process of raising children. You can register for dinner, child care, or classes by contacting betsy@teensinc.org. Together, we foster a community of strong, emotionally resilient families. This event is an important step in that direction.
