Stop praising your child.
This is due to the new style of “gentle parenting” in vogue, which involves never telling your children “I’m so proud of you.”
Rethinking old habits is in the spotlight after mom Taylor Wolfe’s recent viral TikTok video instructing a “boomer” grandmother not to say “I’m so proud of you” to her grandchild are.
Parenting experts advise instead, using phrases like “You should be proud.” Bunenin – Stock.adobe.com
“It’s focused on you,” Wolf explains in the video, instructing her grandmother to say “you should be proud” instead.
Experts say the change in language allows children to feel more confident in their own choices and actions, rather than relying on external validation.
Author Laura Markham previously said that overusing the phrase “I’m proud of you” turns children into “praise junkies,” or people who are constantly dependent on praise from others. He told Today’s Parent magazine.
She recommends phrases like, “You should be so proud of yourself.”
According to Dr. Carla Goodwin, a licensed clinical psychologist and contributor to Yahoo News, research shows that “process praise,” or praising a child’s efforts and strategies in completing a task, can actually improve internal behavior. It is known that motivation increases.
Experts say that using phrases like “I’m so proud of you” too often can turn children into “compliment junkies” who rely on external validation. are. Krakenimages.com – Stock.adobe.com
On the other hand, “praising others” by emphasizing characteristics such as being beautiful or smart can have the opposite effect, causing children to focus on their mistakes and blame themselves when they fail, Goodwin said. says.
Research shows that praise should be specific and praise a child’s specific good behavior rather than general praise. According to Goodwin, this helps children understand how they will behave in the future.
Overall, this sometimes controversial parenting method focuses on raising independent, happy children with respect, empathy, and boundaries, and is a traditional parenting approach that harshly punishes bad behavior and rewards good behavior. This is in stark contrast to the law. Instead of calling time-outs or yelling, “kind” parents have conversations with their children to set expectations and explain why certain behaviors are not allowed.
“Gentle parenting is about pausing as a parent and trying to help your child understand what’s going on instead of screaming and yelling,” pediatrician Dr. Karen Estrella said at the Cleveland Clinic. ” he explained.
“It can be difficult for parents because when conflict occurs, they get angry and want to react quickly,” she says.
For some, this technique is rudimentary.
Recently, a woman posted on an online Reddit forum that her sister’s family had been banned from her home because of “nice parenting.” According to an anonymous Redditor, the sisters had “zero discipline.”
“For the first two days of our stay, my daughter was drawing on my wall with crayons,” a user wrote online. “Then her son pulled out the flowers I had recently planted in my garden bed and threw a rock at my car parked in the driveway.”
“To top it all off, they both kept pulling my golden retriever’s hair and punching my dog in the face,” she added.
