In recent years, the term “toxic masculinity” has dominated contemporary discourse about what it means to be a man.
Kickboxer-turned-influencer Andrew Tate, known for spewing misogynistic ideology and currently facing human trafficking and rape charges in Romania, is often cited as the embodiment of that ideology.
But he is never alone.
The term is thrown around on social media and is used to refer to the behavior of celebrities, politicians, and ordinary men alike.
Boris Johnson, for example, described Russian President Vladimir Putin’s “crazy macho war of aggression and violence” as “a perfect example of toxic masculinity”.
Similarly, Donald Trump has been criticized for his masculinity, which expresses strength through dominance and normalizes violence, yet manages to assert a sense of victimhood.
This public labeling of unhealthy gender-based behaviors and attitudes shows how far society has come.
But experts say it’s also producing unintended consequences.
Professor Michael Flood, from the School of Justice at Queensland University of Technology, said the term “toxic masculinity” was often misunderstood.
“What this name means is a particular version of how to be a toxic man. It’s toxic to the boys and men who try to follow it, and it’s toxic to the people around them,” he says.
Specifically, this version of masculinity is characterized by dominance, aggression, sexual entitlement, and hostility toward femininity and weakness.
“However, this phrase is often misunderstood as saying that there is something inherently unhealthy or harmful about being a man,” explains Dr. Flood.
Russian President Vladimir Putin presents a very masculine image. (Reuters/Ria Novosti/Pool/Alexei Druzhnin)
This is why he prefers not to use the term when speaking to the community.
“Some boys and men feel attacked, they feel defensive, they feel blamed, and they struggle with that and may actually fight back. I think so,” he says.
And this whole debate has far-reaching implications for men and boys and those around them.
blueprint for becoming a man
Parenting educator and author Maggie Dent agrees that the term can be problematic.
“I think there are toxic men just as there are toxic women,” she says. “I believe that both genders should be respected as individuals.”
However, she points out that in recent years there has been a change in the behavior and attitudes of teenage boys.
“We know that today’s teens and young boys, even as young as 9 or 10 years old, have a phone or have access to a device and use certain social media platforms. “When you’re using it, you absolutely know that you’re being immersed in that world, which is the exact opposite of what anyone would want for their son,” she says.
Dent says that in the 40 years she has been a high school teacher, teen joking and teasing has become an alarming problem.
“When it comes to valuing girls, you know, that’s what they’ve always done,” she says.
“It used to be “extreme heat to freezing cold.” And now… the bottom is “I can’t even rape you.”
Ms Dent singles out Andrew Tate as a corrupt force.
Before his arrest, the podcaster used social media to project an ambitious lifestyle of fast cars, luxury watches, and vacations on private yachts, claiming that women are “inherently lazy” and “not responsible.” He was broadcasting deeply misogynistic views, such as “I should be responsible for this.” “Because I was sexually assaulted.
In 2022, Meta banned Andrew Tate from Facebook and Instagram for violating its policies. (×)
Such rhetoric was sandwiched between training tips and other purported advice, such as his belief that sparkling water meant wealth and was therefore superior.
And these so-called life hacks are making their way from social media to schoolyards, says Simon Smart, director of the Center for Public Christianity.
“I talked to a lot of teachers at the school and they said, ‘I can’t believe how many eighth-grade students are walking around with bottles of soda, because that’s Andrew Tate’s job,'” he told ABC Radio. He spoke in the National’s Religion and Ethics Report.
Of course, Tate isn’t the only internet personality offering a blueprint for how to be a modern person.
Psychologist and author Jordan Peterson and podcaster Joe Rogan have amassed huge followings, primarily men, by creating a space for masculine discourse.
Why some men want to “reaffirm their position”
All of this is happening at a time when men in some Western countries are lagging behind women in terms of education levels and certain economic indicators.
“We’re at an interesting stage in the evolution and migration of men and women and the roles they play,” says Smart, who recently published The End of Men?
“I think men are confused about what they should be.
“When you start to feel like there’s something toxic about being a man, you gravitate toward these kinds of characters who, if not well-directed, are saying, ‘It’s okay to reassert your position.’ It will be done.”
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Joshua Ruth, associate professor of political science at Deakin University, said one of the key challenges facing men is a lack of upward mobility.
“Trajectory is important here. It’s not necessarily class; it’s where you feel you are in life,” he tells God Forbid.
“When[society]provides upward economic opportunities…not only do people feel like they have a place to belong and a community around them, but they also feel like they can do better and take care of their families. ”
The lack of such opportunities plays into the hands of populist politicians who promise to return society to an earlier, more prosperous era.
And in this changing space, groups can become even more fragmented.
“I think the core principles and values are still hotly contested,” he says.
“The challenges of fatherhood, masculinity, and masculinity as a whole are closely tied to this deeper social debate that is so prevalent.”
What does masculinity mean today?
Dr. Flood agrees that societal expectations for men and women have fundamentally changed over the past 50 years.
However, he says there is an increasing need for boys and men to treat girls and women with respect, seek consent and act non-violently.
Other traits, such as emotional literacy, communication skills, and concern for appearance, are also increasingly expected.
“On the other hand, traditional norms persist that men should be tough, in control, stoic, unemotional (and) actively heterosexual,” Dr. Flood said. says.
This discrepancy may cause some teenage boys to continue searching for the playbook.
Unfortunately, “traditional masculinity” can be a poisoned chalice for everyone involved.
A 2024 study of Australian men found that those who held stereotyped ideas about masculinity (about a quarter of participants) were more likely to harm themselves or others.
The “policing of masculinity” is happening both online and in the real world. (Unsplash: Mart Production)
“They were more likely to have experienced loneliness, more likely to have taken risks with driving or drugs or alcohol, and more likely to have considered suicide,” Dr. Flood said.
“[They]cause harm to others, use physical or sexual violence against their partners, bully other men, or turn a blind eye to acts of violence or abuse. There is a high possibility that
But if this version of masculinity is so harmful, why does it persist?
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Flood said men who espouse traditional ideals are often rewarded by some quarters.
“They may be seen as a ‘nice guy’ by their male peers, they may be seen as a more attractive boyfriend by some girls and women, and they may receive compliments from their parents,” he said. explains.
Punishment and public shaming can also perpetuate negative stereotypes.
“Boys and young men who don’t conform to traditional norms of masculinity may be called names,” says Dr. Flood.
“They may be called pussy, fag, sissy, slut, shit, and a hundred other names as part of the policing of masculinity.”
Draw a line in the sand
Dent believes that positive male role models can help offset the influence of misogynistic forces.
“I think there’s a far-right, very white supremacist, very male supremacist voice in the world right now, and it’s a very loud voice,” she says.
“In a way, it implies that there is only one way to be a man.
“By immersing the boys in stories of good men who don’t necessarily have the biggest cars or the biggest houses, but who are doing very good things in the world,[the boys]see themselves in The lens will change.”
For Dent, who has raised four boys and now enjoys life as a grandmother, it’s important to talk about respect, character and the “line in the sand.”
“The line in the sand is clear within the family,” she explains.
“Crossing that line is sexual harassment in our schools. It’s saying something offensive and actually connoting something very negative…rhetoric about girls versus boys.”
Dent said such opportunities can provide teens with moments of self-reflection and growth.
“Instead of punishing and shaming children, which is what we have traditionally done with boys, we need a safe adult, who can be a man or a woman,” she said. says.
“We’re having conversations around… ‘Words like that won’t allow you to grow into the person you want to be. What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be a respected person? Or Do you want to be the kind of guy who says things like, “I want people to laugh, I want people to like me, I want people to accept me?”
Parenting expert Maggie Dent says many teens aren’t challenged to take the first step toward adulthood. (ABC: Parents who can do anything)
Despite the worrying changes in schoolyards and social media, Dent is optimistic about the next generation of young people.
At parenting seminars and on the playground with her grandchildren, she says she has witnessed a “beautiful shift” in men’s parenting styles.
“Men are coming forward with big hearts, they want to be team players and they don’t expect women to take on the sole responsibility of raising children. This is a great change in the Western world,” she said. say.
“In fact, I live with hope because today’s fathers are much more aware of crossing the bridge to adulthood and meeting their sons in a different way.
“We hope it will be a buffer against (teenage boys’) online access.”
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