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Back in August, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, M.D., released a report called the Surgeon General’s Recommendations on Parental Mental Health and Well-Being, raising alarm about the health status and support of today’s mothers and fathers. It rang. It is necessary to reduce the rise in stress levels.
“Parents have a huge impact on the health of their children and the health of society,” Murthy wrote in the advisory. “But today, parents and caregivers are dealing with everything from familiar stressors such as their children’s health, safety and financial insecurity to new challenges such as how they interact with technology and social media, the mental health crisis among young people, and widespread loneliness. Young people face tremendous pressure, and as a father of two, I feel this pressure too.
Taking it a step further, a 2022 Pew Research Center survey found that parents are concerned about a variety of things about their children, from their mental health and how likely they are to deal with bullies to their likelihood of being kidnapped or assaulted. It is reported that they are worried about this. Additionally, a 10-year analysis conducted by the American Psychological Association found that parental stress has only increased since 2013, with 33 percent of parents in 2023 rating their stress level between 8 and 10 (compared to 20). (on a scale of 1 to 10). Percentage of non-parents surveyed last year.
Parents are overworked and overwhelmed, constantly concerned about their children’s well-being, and worried to the point that their own well-being becomes a tank. As a married mother of two children under the age of five who works full time, I can relate. Due to stress myself, I find myself wondering how to answer the question “How are you doing?” I ask honest questions and am consistently underwhelmed. But with the help of therapists and parenting experts, I’ve adopted some habits that help me keep my head above water. They may be just the first step to helping you do the same.
01
01 Set boundaries
Whether it’s work, personal life, or both, knowing when to protect your space and mind is essential. Healthy boundaries help maintain mental health. That could mean not checking email on the weekends, cutting back on surfing time in favor of rest, or just saying “no.”
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02 Ask for help
You may think it’s great to take on all the responsibilities in life, but it’s certainly not healthy. As a Leo who doesn’t like asking for help from people who don’t do what I want, I had to let people do their best. Asking your husband to help with your children’s doctor’s appointments, encouraging co-workers to take on certain responsibilities to help you cope with your problems, and asking for help can help you avoid resentment. I was able to get rid of my emotions and also gain something from it. Room to breathe.
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03 Don’t agree to anything if you don’t have the bandwidth
Sometimes we find ourselves in a period where we are really thin. Then the idea of adding anything to your calendar or signing up to take on more responsibility is terrible. So why did you agree to do lunch on Saturday if you really wanted to get your day off (and your TV show) back? Why are you considering joining PTA? Just as there are moments when you feel full, there are also times when you can step up. There’s no shame in being honest when it’s not the season. Fight the urge to agree to something else you know you can’t actually afford.
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04 Go to Bed
How to relieve stress? rest. But we all know that prioritizing getting more sleep is easier said than done. Taking revenge by procrastinating bedtime is a reality for many people, and some scroll until the wee hours of the morning because they didn’t have enough time for themselves during the day. But the effect is not worth it, and the mood after a full night’s rest feels much better than after staring at the screen all night. Having more rest also means you’ll feel more refreshed and less irritable to tackle the day’s work, meaning you won’t have to take out your frustrations on your kids, coworkers, or partner.
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05 Let go of guilt
This is something I always fight. In our countless interviews with famous moms for our Moms at Work series, many women shared with us the reality that there is no such thing as balance. Some days you’ll be the perfect child care worker, some days you’ll be the employee of the month, and some days you’ll be the most attentive and romantic girlfriend or wife. But the truth is that there are days when important parts of life don’t get enough attention. Once you understand that and communicate your needs, you’ll feel less compunction about your partner having to be more lenient sometimes, or about not getting the reports you have to do for work as quickly as you would like. You will no longer feel it. As humans, there are only 24 hours in a day. Give yourself grace.
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06 Carve out “me” time
As the girls say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Me-time doesn’t necessarily have to be an entire day away from all your responsibilities, but you shouldn’t feel like you don’t have it every day. Set aside time on the weekend to read a new book. Or, after putting the kids to bed, relax and enjoy your favorite ice cream. Wake up and train before your family. Or you can use your paid time off to do nothing and enjoy a staycation while the kids are at school. True carefree moments may not happen every day, but they need to happen more often, Mom.
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07 Talk to someone – or something
We all need to vent. Our partners, parents, and friends are the perfect shoulders to lean on when you have something to get off your chest, but before you unload, make sure they have enough bandwidth for you. Always check that. Even better options are to finally have a therapist that you can always connect with to find ways to cope, and a journal where you can vent your deepest thoughts and feelings if you need to. I can list it. Because, really, an overwhelmed mom just needs to feel and be heard sometimes.
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